Mona Lisa In America

"What do you call a sheep with no legs?"

"A cloud."

"Doctor, I have a serious problem, I can never remember what I have just said."

"When did you first notice this problem?"

"What problem?"

"What is the difference between man and Superman?"

"Man wears his underwear under his trousers, Superman wears it over his trousers."

"How do you know if you are a red neck?"

"You go to the family reunion to find a date."

Sam: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"

Teacher: "No, of course not."

Sam: "Good, I didn't do my homework."

"What is green and smells?"

"Hulk not having had a bath for a week."

"Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party?"

"He was a party pooper."

He is so short he has to look up to to look down."

She is so thin she has to run around the shower to get wet.

She is so fat every time she turns around it's her birthday.

Parenting:- A mother is cleaning her teenage daughter's room when she finds a bondage
magazine hidden under the bed. She shows it to her husband and asks him what he thinks they should do.

After flicking through the magazine her husband says, 'To be honest I'm not sure, but I don't think spanking her is going to help.'

Tags:Monalisa

Current Mood: Amused

Nice One, George!

Having a car run into the back of the one you are driving is not necessarily a bad thing. At least a lady in Italy didn't think so. This happened to her some time ago, in the centre of Italy, when the car behind her, driven by the charismatic Hollywood heart-throb George Clooney, bumped into the back of hers. He might be wearing high heels, not quite the ideal shoe for the gas pedal.

According to the British popular newspaper the Daily Telegraph, the damage caused was only superficial. George Clooney immediately left his car and came over, profusely apologised, and admitting fault for the accident and accepting full responsibility.

The lady took her car, a Lancia Ypsilon to a garage to have the 'small imperfections' repaired. When she went back to collect it, she found a brand new one of the same model, valued at €18,000, waiting for her. There was a note stuck on the windshield, handwritten by George Clooney (presumably) and signed, once again apologizing, in the best style of a perfect gentleman and Cassanova:

"I am sorry. I hope one day you would forgive me."

I bet that note alone would be valued by her as another €18,000. Maybe considered priceless.

As to that admirable gentleman, I reckon he should get back manyfold the sum he paid out in the best publicity worldwide. A win win story.

Tags:georgeclooney,publicity

Current Mood: Amused