Lesson To Combat Stress

A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience with a raised glass of water. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'... She fooled them all ... "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile.
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz.

She replied , "The weight doesn't really matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practised. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night ... Pick them up tomorrow.

1 * Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can't push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.

18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

19 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY ...

20 *Save the earth ... It's the only planet with chocolate!*

Tags:Stress,Lesson

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Laws Of Nature

You might not be convinced at first, but I think
you might eventually, from experience.

1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2.Law of Gravity- Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3.Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4.Law of Random Numbers- If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. 5.Supermarket Law- As soon as you get in the shortest line, the cashier will have to call for help. 6.Variation Law- If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. 7.Law of the Bath- When the body is fully immersed in bath water, the phone rings. 8.Law of Close Encounters- The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 9.Law of the Result- When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 10.Law of Biomechanics- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 11.Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly lets or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folks. 12.The Coffee Law- As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 13.Murphy's Law of Lockers- If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 14.Law of Physical Surfaces- The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet. 15.Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. 16.Brown's Law of Physical Appearance- If the clothes fit, they're ugly. 17.Oliver's Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet. 18.Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy- As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. 19.Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the paediatrician. 20. Admit it, you too have been  in similar situations; true? Tag:LawsOfNature

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Darwin Awards - For Stupidity

Darwin Awards are out! Yes, It's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us. My favourite is No. 4.
Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the Honourable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men
to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver ound that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled
a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast ...The frustrated gunman walked away!

And Finally, the 5-STAR "STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER"

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the half-wit had been punished enough!

Remember...They walk among us!

Tags:DarwinAwards,Stupidity

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