5th July 2011 Giggles - A Mother's Story

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.

"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies.
"OK Do you have a boyfriend?", asks the Midwife.
"No, no boyfriend either."
"Do you have a partner then?"
"No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own."

After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman.

"You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black".

"Well," replies the girl, "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a porno movie. The leading man was black".

"Oh," says the midwife, "it's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions, but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair".

"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see the co-star in the movie was this Swedish guy."

"Oh," the midwife repeats, "it's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby also has slanted eyes".

"Yes," continues the girl, "there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."

At this, the midwife collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum.

The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims,

"Thank God for that!"
"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.

"Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that it was going to bark!"

 

Tags: baby, mother

Prev: 5th July 2011 A Gay Friend - A Happy Friend

5th July 2011 A Gay Friend - A Happy Friend

Just heard from one of those 'Talk' shows in London TV, something silly, nevertheless rather interesting, about the latest fashion accessories amongst the rich, famous but bored socialites, who has everything but purpose of life and a devoted husband or lover, preferably both, who had time to spend with them.

The new hot item is not a Dior or Valentino gown, not a Gucci bag, not Jimmy Choo shoes, not even diamonds supposedly a girl's best friend, but a gay companion. To be seen with night-clubbing, dining in exclusive and expensive restaurants, midnight yachting or skinny-dipping ... I guess that's about all, not much else seeing that the handsome and attentive escort is gay.

 

I am no socialite, nor can I afford to pay out such extravagant outings regularly, but I do quite enjoy occasionally some gay company, in the sense of both devil-may-care-merry company as well as the 'other' sexual implication if he happens to be one of 'those'. Until just a couple of years ago, I had 2 gay men friends, a very united and stable couple, great and genuine friends, frank and honest, the way I am by nature. 

 

Women friends seem nearly always set out to compete, even when I am not after their boyfriends or husbands; male friends often have bed or settee included in their mind when they invite you for dinner, while gay males are pretty relaxing and often stimulating conversationalists. These two friends had been together for over 20 years but one died about 3 years ago, the other, the one I talked with more, was so heart broken, he couldn't stay in Roses any more where everything reminded him of his lost partner. He moved back to UK, and I lost a real 'bosom' friend and a confidant who seemed to understand me more than I do myself.

 

I still remember all the things we talked about, especially the 2 way jokes. Like when a good looking guy passed us by I would quickly say to him 'Hey, hands off, I saw him first!' Or he would say to me 'Forget it, didn't you see he wasn't looking at you but me?'

 

How I miss my friend. I used to correct people who mentioned him to me as 'Your gay friend ...' and I would immediately say 'My friend, not my gay friend. I don't have sexual inclination listed as part of a friend's quality or defect.'

 

Tags: gayfriend

Prev: 5th July 2011 Giggles - Skinny-Dipping

5th July 2011 Giggles - Skinny-Dipping

Ron, an elderly man in Florida, had own a farm for several years, with a large pond at the back.

 

It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice, with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and lime trees.

 

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

 

He grabbed a 5-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

 

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end.

 

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

 

Ron frowned. "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked, or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he continued, "I am here to feed the Alligator."

 

Some old men can still think fast!

 

Tags: skinny-dipping

Prev: 4th July 2011 Deadly Reflection - My (could be true) Fiction Story