Tuesday, 22 November 2011

22nd Nov 2011 A Country Called Daftland

Nov 22A

We live in a country called Daftland

The land we once knew is no more,
Where sensible people do ludicrous things
Or risk breaking some Daftland law.

In Daftland we've police dogs with muzzles
Less the villain has cause to complain
And to steal from a shop and say 'sorry'
Means you're free with no stain to your name.

You had better leave lights on in buildings
When you lock up and go home at night
'cause the burglars might hurt themselves entering
And there's no way you'll be in the right.



When speaking be wary in Daftland
As some terms that you've used all your life
Now have connotations unintended
And you'll end up in all sorts of strife.

We elect politicians in Daftland
To give us the laws of the land
Yet eight laws in ten now come from abroad
The whole thing has got out of hand.

The borders are open in Daftland
And of migrants there's no keeping track
Just a few of the thousands illegally here
Will ever be caught and sent back.

The exception to this is the hero
Who fought for this land in the war
He's old and he's sick, he might cost us a bit
So he's not welcome here any more.

When the history is written of Daftland
Historians may just recall
That the craziest people in Daftland
Were the public who put up with it all!!!

Prev: 22nd Nov 2011 The Obituary Is A Bargain

22nd Nov 2011 The Obituary Is A Bargain

Nov 22
Obituary Ad. ~

Graham rings the local newspaper and asks to speak to the person in charge of the obituary column. He is passed to the advertiser and he asks, 'How much does it cost to place an obituary in the paper?'
'£1.20 per word, sir, 'replies the newspaperman respectfully.'

'Ok', says Graham, 'are you ready?'
'Yes', came the answer.
'The obit. reads - ' Jones dead'.'
'No more?' asks the newsman in a very surprised voice.
'No, that's it,' came the reply.
'I have to tell you, 'announced the advertiser, 'but there is a 5 word minimum.'
'Why didn't you tell me before?' complained Graham, 'in that case it will read:

'Jones dead. Volkswagen for sale'


Short Term Investment ~
A wealthy ninety years old tycoon is meeting with is financial advisor.

The advisor is very excited and tells the old man, 'I just found out about an investment I can make for you which will double your money in just five years.'

'Five years? Are you kidding?' splutters the old man. 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'


Prev: 21st Nov 2011 I Want To Believe ...