4th Feb 2012 The Bride, The Wife & The Bet

The bride in white ~

Cindy was just 9 years old, this was the third wedding she had been to that summer. She turned to her mother and asked:
"Mom, why is the bride always wearing a beautiful white dress?"
"Oh, that baby, is because it's the happiest day of her life."
"Is the groom unhappy? He is wearing a black suit!"

To know your wife ~

Pete, aged 9 years: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Roger, his father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere! 

 

The bet ~

A couple is sitting in front of the Television watching the six O' clock news. The headline feature is a man who is threatening to jump off the Clifton Suspension Bridge onto the busy A4 below. 

She turns to him and says 'I bet you £100 that he jumps.'
He replies ' £100! Done.' 

The pair shakes on it and continue watching the commotion on the TV, sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud.
He takes £000 out of his pocket and gives it to her.

'I can't take that from you.' she says. 'I was cheating. I saw the Five O' clock News earlier so I Knew what was going to happen. I can't accept that money.' 

He replies, 'No Babe. The money is yours fair and square. I was cheating too. I just didn't think he would do it again.'

Tags: wife, bet, bride

Prev: 4th Feb 2012 Chinese Wisdom, Or Is It Parable?

4th Feb 2012 Chinese Wisdom, Or Is It Parables?

• How much does a Chinese restaurant weigh? ... Won Ton
• English mothers feed their babies with tiny spoons! Chinese mothers use toothpicks
• Man with one chopstick go hungry.
• Man become old when he watch food instead of waitress.
• Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
• A life with love is happy; a life for love is foolish.
• War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
• A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.
• Three humble shoemakers brainstorming make a great statesman.
• Visiting monks give better sermons.
• He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
• An ambitious horse will never return to its old stable.
• A conversation with a wise person is worth of ten years' study of books.
• How did an embarrassed panda get mistaken for a newspaper?
  They are both black and white, and red all over!

Tags: parable, chinesewisdom

Prev: 4th Feb 2012 Amusing Thoughts

4th Feb 2012 Amusing Thoughts

I am almost sure I had posted some of these before. I just feel like dwelling on some funny thoughts and have a quiet laugh or two. 

 

• Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.
• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons?
• Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'Broker'?
• Why isn't there a mouse flavoured cat food?
• Why do they call the airport 'the terminal' if flying is so safe?
• I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. - Ancient Persian Saying
• If people from Poland are called 'Poles', why aren't people from Holland called 'Holes?'
• You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
• Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
• Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
• Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
• If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
• Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
• Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone
• Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
• Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be. - Don Quixote

Tags: amusingthoughts

Prev: 3rd Feb 2012 Just For A Laugh