4th Aug 2012 Bliss Of Retirement

** Lost In His Own Back Yard?

One day a police panda car pulled up to Granny's home and Grampy got out. The constable explained that this elderly gentlemen had said he was lost in the Victoria park.

'Why, Ivor,' said Granny, 'You've been going there for over 30 years! How on earth could you say you had got lost?'

Leaning close to Granny so the police officer couldn't hear, he whispered, 'Wasn't exactly lost. I was just too tired to walk home.'

** Three Old Men's Wish

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what they wish their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.

'I would like my grandchildren to say, 'He was successful in business', declared the first man.

'Fifty years from now, 'said the second, 'I want them to say, 'He was a loyal family man'.

Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, 'So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?'

'Me?' the third man replied. 'I want them all to say, 'He certainly looks good for his age!'

** Full Circle?

Two elderly gentlemen, Tony and George, from the retirement day centre in Waterlooville, Hampshire, are sitting on a bench under a tree when Tony turns to George and says, 'Hey, George, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel these days?' Tony replies with a glint in his eye, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really?' George sounds surprised. 'Like a newborn baby?'
'Yeah,' laughs Tony, 'No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

What's important when Retired?
Jackie, an elderly lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that it wouldn't blow away in the wind. Edward, a gentleman approaches her and says, 'Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?'
'Yes, I know,' replies Jackie firmly, 'But I need my hands to hold onto my hat.'
'But madam,' remarks Edward, 'you must know that your derriere is exposed.'
Jackie looks directly at Edward, after a quick glance down and retorts, 'Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat yesterday.'

Tags: retired, seniors

Prev: 4th Aug 2012 The Mighty Unusual Olympic Athletes

4th Aug 2012 The Mighty Unusual Olympic Athletes

A contact asked why I write just about topic at all under the sun but had not written a single word on the biggest event at the moment, the Olympics in London. Well, the world is being informed in every which way, minute by minute, even second by second, everything there is to know about the games, including everything else that's not yet happen and, not being a reporter or professional in any kind of media, what need have I to add my less than 2 cents worth?

But ... today I found these very cute little animal athletes doing most admirably in sport activities I thought you might find them interesting too.


Humans are not the only species that practice sports. Animals, by nature or trained, can do a lot of it too. Like the Indian rabbit in such serious stance and aiming with such intense attention, just at the point of throwing the javelin (top left).

The Red Ant (top right) from Indonesia, also known as Fire Ant, is bearing with extraordinary skill what looks like the Olympic flaming touch (a flower bulb from a plant) on his head! Apparently this type of ants are very fond of these bulbs, for eating as well as for building their nests. How convenient, when other food is scarce, they can always eat a 'wall' or the whole house!! Can always build another at better times.

The cute couple of young rabbits performing the formidable jump with such style that are quite comparable to any human athlete aspiring in this speciality category. They convey the unmistakable 'Let's go for Gold!' determination.

 

Bob the owl (below) has undergone hard training in this speciality sport he took part in, and won. His trainer is Jamie Pearce, remarked that although he runs in a most amusingly funny way, is in fact extremely fast, with hardly anyone surpassing them. They live in holes on the ground but have adapted well to be able to escape at great speed from predators.

All these photos, by the way, are for a calendar.

 

Tags: olympics, unusualathletes

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