Sunday, 2 December 2012

Cathouse Parrot

Dec 02B
A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

'Why so little,' she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, 'Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.'
 
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way and might be able to teach him to say something nice. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,
 
'New house, new madam.'
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought 'that's really not so bad.'
 
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird looked at them and said,
'New house, new madam, new girls.'
 
The girls and the woman were a bit offended, but then began to laugh about the situation,
considering she must start soon the speech lessons.
 
Moments later, Keith the husband came home from work. The bird looked at him and said,

'Hi Keith'

Tags:Parrot,Brothel

The Veterinarian

Dec 02A
One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week.

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.
"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"
The old lady said, "$10,000 a week."


The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; What does he do for a living?"
"He is a veterinarian," she answered.
"That is an honourable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"


The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two Cat Houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno."


Tags:Veterinarian,CatHouse

Eccentric Millionaires Of Our Time

Dec 02
The GP Millionaire magazine says that the Chinese millionaire Huan Qiaoling had the fancy of reproducing the White House right in the middle of a rice field in his native home town Hangzhou, because he wanted to feel what's like to be the 'emperor' of the United States! Bill Gate enjoys his 45 roomed mansion in Washington, built underground, with the estimated value of 1000 million dollars.

There have been those with millions coming out of their ears, the run of the mill pleasures probably seem to them too common, so they go out of their way to acquire or establish quite unique or varied eccentricities to showcase, or dispose of, or simply to enjoy being outrageous because they can afford not just the cost, but whatever reputation, flattering, enviable, or labelled as in bad taste, wont matter. The latter are usually by those who can't afford either.

One particular millionaire certainly calls far more attention than the rest, not because he is more extravagant and spends far more than other millionaires, but because he won't spend any! He is Ingvar Kamprad, the richest man in Europe. This business tycoon, proprietor of the multinational chain shops of portable furniture, Ikea, with multiple shops in 44 countries and providing employment to over 100.000 people.

When he is not driving his old Volvo, in his older still off the peg suits, he goes about in public transports, using his retired old folks' card so as not to pay anything as he is now 86. He flies in so named 'Low Cost' flights and lodges himself always in cheap hotels, according to the magazine 'The Economist'.

What Kamprad practices is not thrift, I dare say it's almost like an obsession, a compulsion, more like a disease, to hoard money. For what has he been working hard all his life, still working each day now, yet not wishing to even enjoy his grand old age? It reminds me of an old friend of mine in my Hong Kong days. He had so many properties, residences, shops, factories he owned or rented out, he often scratched his head trying to remember whether some buildings we passed by were his or not. He was also extremely thrifty, at times ridiculously so, but with friends or, at least, with me, as he would give me gifts, expensive ones, for no reason at all, just to please; or perhaps he simply enjoyed giving. Apparently not Kamprad. He hates spending, period.

Maybe another very rich man summed it up well. Paul Getty said: "Those who have no money think about money all the time. Those who have, also!"

After 65 years working hard everyday, Kamprad has never had a holiday or been anywhere just for the sake of seeing a new place. Is it really eccentricity? Misery? Contrary? I wonder whether he has a plan for when the time comes and he has to let go. Would he?

Tag:EccentricMillionaires