9th May 2012 Petty Crimes That Make You Laugh Out Loud

** A man went into a drug store in Baltimore, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a "Hefty-bag" face mask over his head. He then realised that he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask. He was arrested by security men.

** A Belgium news agency reported, last year, that a man suspected of robbing a jewellery store in Liege said he couldn't have done it because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time.

Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.
 

** Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home

… With the chain still attached to the machine

… With their bumper still attached to the chain.

… With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. You couldn't make it up!

** When a man attempted to siphon petrol from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.

Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.

The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
 

** Investigating a purse snatching, detectives picked up a man who fit the description of the thief and drove him back to the scene. He was told to exit the car and face the victim for an ID.

The suspect carefully eyed the victim, and shouted, 'Yeah, that's the woman I robbed.'

Tags: pettycrimes, lol

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9th May 2012 A Deserved Rebuke

Sometimes those who try and pull rank get their comeuppance.

One foggy night, a United States Aircraft Carrier was cruising off the coast of Newfoundland and the junior radar operator spotted a light in the gloom. Here is a transcript of what happened next.

The radar operator worked out that a collision was likely unless the other vessel changed course. So he sent a radio message.

U.S. Aircraft Carrier Radar Officer:

'Please divert your course at least 7 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.'

Back came the reply: 'You must be joking, I recommend you divert your course instead.'

The U.S. Radar Officer referred the matter to his superior officer. And reported the incident as insubordination. As a result the Captain of the Air Craft Carrier sent a second message.

'I believe that I out rank you, and am giving you a direct order to divert your course now!!!'

Canadian Radio Operator: 'This is a lighthouse. I suggest you take evasive action.'

Footnote:

The lighthouse story is the urban myth. I heard a rumour that the story is discussed at the annual Coastguar's Convention, where the different versions are compared and scored.

Apparently most versions are preposterous because the ship would have visual contact with the lighthouse. However, if you add a fog to your version you gain credibility - at least in the eyes of the lighthouse keepers.

Tags: lighthouse, comeuppance

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