** God Answers ...
A
woman named Edna finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone
bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she
decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray... "God, please help
me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to
lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Edna again prays...."God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lotto night comes and Edna still has no luck.
Once
again, she prays, "My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my
business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often
ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE,
just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in
order.
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Edna is confronted by the voice of God Himself:
"Edna, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."
** God And Satan ...
In
the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, and
spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man
and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then
using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Haagen Das Ice Cream and
Magnums. And Satan said: "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man said:
"Yes!" And Woman said: "I'll have one too ...with sprinkles." And lo
they gained 10 pounds.
And
God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that
Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat,
and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 2
to size 14.
So
God said: "Try my fresh green garden salad." And Satan presented
crumbled Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man
and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God
then said: "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut king
prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak so big it
needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.
Then
God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin
and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal
fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.
God
then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those
extra pounds. And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control
so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman
laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing
stretch jogging suits.
God
then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and the .99 pence
double cheeseburger. Then Satan said, "You want fries with that?" And
Man replied: "Yes! And super size 'em!" And Satan said: "It is good."
And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed ... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
And then...Satan chuckled ... and created the National Health Service.
Swimming
in this pool one can enjoy the very best panoramic view of the
prosperous city in the South East of Asia. On one side (top photo) the
water seems to disappear like down the edge of a waterfall, but is in
fact an optical illusion, although not recommended for people who
suffer vertigo: in reality, the edge ends in a sinkhole or sump, which
collects the water then pumps back into the pool.
