Things I Can No Longer Do - Awesome Video

In fact, the title should have been 'Things I have never been able to do' to be more exact. Some people are simply awesome!!! The song is 'Levitate' by Hadouken, from the album 'Every Weekend' available on iTunes.

The Juggler - Very Entertaining Video

Finally; something good out of the Reagan era! If you do nothing else today, watch this video. It is excellent clean comedy.

Product Instructions, Or Puzzles?

Some real instructions seen on product labels: On a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (but that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On bag of crisps: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion!). On a tub of Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought won't be????...) On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklift trucks) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???...) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Damn!) On a Swedish Chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) Tags:instructions,puzzles

Current Mood: Amused

Unmistakeable Identity

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him:

"You look like Einstein, but you have no idea what some people will do to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you said you are?"

"Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe wit arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed.

"You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to Heaven."

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks:

"Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"

"Go ahead." says Saint Peter.

Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk. Saint Peter claps.

"Surely you are the great artist you claim to be." he says, "Come on in!"

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says:

"Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"

George W. Bush looks bewildered and says: " Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

Saint Peter signs and says: "Come on in, George."

Tags:Einstein,bush,Picasso

Current Mood: Amused

My Confession

The Cardinal was right when he radically opposed to the sacrament of the confession to be carried out by phone or online. This proposal was still in it's infancy not long ago, but definitely the first in Spain, keen on invention, but as far as I know, not accepted by majority.

A lot of the old habits and customs have changed or modified with the advance of technology, in all aspects and in all fields. Nowadays people want everything done quickly, easily, best still without having to actually 'Do' it physically. Things not able to do by pressing a couple of buttons on the keyboard are often simply not done at all. Or get ignored, or postponed for so long that's it's cause or reason of doing it has lost it's sense or productivity originally planned for.

People don't write letters any more, except one or two liners in an email. No visiting friends or relatives because the 2 liners have done the 'visiting'. We don't go to libraries because we can Google everything we wish to know. We can consult doctors online, and even medical operations can be carried out without any surgeons need to lay a little finger on you. There are already Sunday Mass you can attend, still in your pajamas with a hangover, just go online, sitting with your coffee and toast during the sermon, saving a lot of time and bother. And now you are protected by the absolution day and night as well, without having to make a trip to the church to confess your naughty thoughts and deeds.

Bet that would be very popular with a lot of people. I probably belong to the minority, wanting my life experience to be real and tangible, including the bumbling bits. The reason I have a 'Must see' movie list, and a 'Must read' book list, and a 'Must visit restaurants' list, and a few more other 'Must this and that' list ... all half a mile long. Most of these I can do online too. but that would be cheating myself out of the pleasure of actually doing them step by step, even the boring bits, the travel for instance, the wait, the time, the expenses, maybe even the disappointment of finding something not quite as I had expected it to be. But I want to be able to go through all that myself, with my body and soul, not just using my fingers.

I haven't committed any major sins, not for a while anyway; so for now, I am at ease with myself and with a clear conscience. But, I think if and when I do, (commit a sin I mean) I might just try the confession online, since I am not Catholic. In a private Blog, as nobody could forgive me except myself.

Tags:confession

Current Mood: Accomplished

Sumsing Turbo 3000 Xi - The Multi-Tasks Phone

The Sumsing Turbo 3000 Xi Multitask is the most amazing cell phone ever and easily outperforms smartphones like the iPhone, Droid, and Blackberry. So head on down to your local mobile phone store and ask for the Sumsing Turbo 3000 today!