Product Instructions, Or Puzzles?

Some real instructions seen on product labels: On a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (but that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On bag of crisps: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion!). On a tub of Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought won't be????...) On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklift trucks) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???...) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Damn!) On a Swedish Chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) Tags:instructions,puzzles

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