What A Coincidence!

Farmer Bill went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered Champagne. The woman perks up and says:

"How about that, I just ordered a glass of Champagne too!"

"What a coincidence" the farmer says. "This is a special day for me, I am celebrating."

"This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!" says the woman.

"What a coincidence" says the farmer again.

As they clinked glasses, the farmer asks:

"What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a long time and, today, the gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant."

"What a coincidence!" says the man. "I am a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile and today they are finally laying fertilized eggs."

"That's great!" says the woman. "How did your chickens become fertile?"

"I used a different cock."

The woman smiled and said:

"What a coincidence!"

Tag:Coincidence

• Current Mood: amused

How Amusing Is The Irish!

** Is It The Sun Or The Moon?

Paddy and Seamus were walking home from the pub. Paddy says to Seamus, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon." Seamus stops and looks at Paddy, "You are wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun." Both started arguing for a while when they come upon a real drunk walking in the other direction, so they stopped him.

"Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"
The drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them, and said,

"Sorry, I don't live around here."

** Irish Job Application

Murphy applied for a fermentation operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test by the Manager. When the results were in, amazingly, both men had only one wrong answer.

The manager went to Murphy and said,

"Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the American the job."

Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job."

Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."

Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"

Manager: "Simple. On question number 7 the American wrote down, 'I don’t know.'

You put down, "Neither do I."

• Current Mood: amused
• Tag:Irish

From Russia With Love

I posted a Blog recently titled 'From Moscow To Peking on 1€ A Day'. I took a peek on this program actually on local TV4 in Spain later. It was quite different from how I had imagined, that the participants were going to have a really hard or at least trying time, making the 10,000 kilometre journey with nothing but 1€ per person day, and that meagre sum was not even permitted to be spent on transport or accommodation. They are also provided with a card by the television channel, stating their identity, and certifying that they are in this contest for an adventure programme, with all the rules and conditions listed. Each couple is followed by the filming team of course.

My imagined hardship these people must endure couldn't have been further from the reality. In my mind I saw these poor souls having to suffer all sorts of difficulties and obstacles, exhaustion, hunger, begging food and water from door to door, and sleeping by the road side like homeless vagabonds. Boy was I wrong!

I had forgotten to take into consideration human vanity. The picture in my head are formed only by these wanderers with a mission to accomplish. Never thought about how other people react to their presence.

This group of contestants are made up of pairs, only one of them were husband and wife, the others were boy and girl friends, a couple of drag queens, two good friends, 2 middle aged bearded men, another undefinable person with his househelp I think. None of them have so far suffered anything more serious than a hangover with too much vodka before they had even got out of Russia.

You can check it out, or just imagine this: contract a team consisting of a movie camera, a sound technician, and a producer. Asked them to follow you around, and you can just about do anything you feel like doing and you will have the very cooperative support by total strangers. With a bit of luck, you are likely to be eating in comfortable homes or even luxury restaurants, sleeping in a cosy guest room with air-conditioning or even a hotel suit with private bath.

As soon as people realise that they would likely appear on TV themselves simply by being with you for a little while, or better still for a whole day, or actually doing something in whatever with you, most are more than willing to give you what you need, even if it's only on TV in Spain. They might not see themselves on the screen, at least they can talk to everybody about it! Naturally they all want pictures taken with you right there and then, feeding you and giving you a bed for the night you needn't even have to ask.

In my opinion, 'Peking Express', this program is called, would have been more interesting if these little groups were not followed by any TV teams, but film themselves with their own cameras, of each other and those people they encounter on the way, naturally also the places they have visited, and what event, if any, happened during the journey.

Tags: pekinexpress, Russia, TV

• Current Mood: blah

Englishman,Irishman,Scotsman

An Englishman and an Irishman ~ An Englishman and an Irishman are driving head on, at night, on a twisty dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend on the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike of the other from that moment on. At this point, the Englishman goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of whiskey. He hands the bottle to the Irishman, whom exclaims "May the Irish and the English live together forever, in peace and harmony." The Irishman then tips the bottle and gulps half of the bottle down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he hands over the bottle to the Englishman, who replies: "No thanks. I'll just wait till the policeman comes." The Englishmen and the Scotsmen ~ Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind 5 Scots, who as a group had purchased only one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots pilled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and called; "Ticket, please!" and one of the Scots slit a ticket under the door, and when it was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats. The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the 5 Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway, again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into another. Then one of the Scots learned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called: "Ticket, please!" When the ticket slit out under the door, he picked it up and quickly closed the door. An Englishman and a Scotsman ~ An Englishman and a Scotsman establish a business together. The Englishman has the money and the Scotsman the experience. After 3 years they go bankrupt. Now the Scotsman has the money and the Englishman has the experience. Tags: Englishman,Irishman,Scotsman

• Current Mood: amused