Englishman,Irishman,Scotsman

An Englishman and an Irishman ~ An Englishman and an Irishman are driving head on, at night, on a twisty dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend on the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike of the other from that moment on. At this point, the Englishman goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of whiskey. He hands the bottle to the Irishman, whom exclaims "May the Irish and the English live together forever, in peace and harmony." The Irishman then tips the bottle and gulps half of the bottle down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he hands over the bottle to the Englishman, who replies: "No thanks. I'll just wait till the policeman comes." The Englishmen and the Scotsmen ~ Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind 5 Scots, who as a group had purchased only one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots pilled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and called; "Ticket, please!" and one of the Scots slit a ticket under the door, and when it was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats. The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the 5 Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway, again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into another. Then one of the Scots learned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called: "Ticket, please!" When the ticket slit out under the door, he picked it up and quickly closed the door. An Englishman and a Scotsman ~ An Englishman and a Scotsman establish a business together. The Englishman has the money and the Scotsman the experience. After 3 years they go bankrupt. Now the Scotsman has the money and the Englishman has the experience. Tags: Englishman,Irishman,Scotsman

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