A hand that lightly touches yours, the look that never leaves your eyes, a brief pat on the shoulder when saying hello or goodbye ... more than simple automatic gestures that sometimes accompany a conversation, say much of the person who effectuate them. Women especially, use their body language a lot more often than men. Some of such communication, often say far more than words.
I am not referring to the non-verbal social codes relating to sentimental expressions, or art of seduction(although subtle use of that is often most effective), but something general. I am talking about mannerism in humans marking our territory, opening or shutting doors to others through the varied movements of parts of our body, transmitting unmistakable messages.
American scientists are very given to statistics, steadying, summing up everything and spending decades emerged in the investigation of non-verbal communication, that have calculated that 4 minutes are enough to find out with sufficient certainty someone's personality, through how they use their body language. They reckon that the body movements proffer 55% of the 1st impression, while 38% comes from the tone of voice and only 7% of said words. Surprising? Perhaps. Also interesting.
Quite often it's due to involuntary behaviour, that unconsciously transmit certain information about us, which are sometimes beneficial and other times the opposite. For instance, crossing both arms across the chest could show dejection, resistance or defiance. Legs rigid with ankles glued together hiding under the chair are evidence of anxiety, excessive humility or lack of self-confidence. Or, in a job interview, sitting with your knees tightly pressed together, the back hunched and hands together on your lap, irradiates anything but your desire to win the post, however many Masters you have accumulated in your curriculum. On the contrary, just a firm handshake, relaxed and easy manner, show confidence, steadiness of character, optimism and illusion.
In other occasions however, some gestures are not spontaneous or unconscious, but executed by design, converting the gesture in a powerful weapon, helping us to communicate in a direct and effective way, proportioning to the rest a better image of yourself.
All that seem too much planning and work to me. I believe in just be myself. If you create a different you, it's even more and harder work to always try to appear like that person you are not. Leading one life is already hard work; leading two in parallel must be so very exhausting.
To people that matter, they will take me as I am; to those who don't matter, matter not.
Tags: bodylanguage
Prev: 15th Aug 2011 A Story Of A Mayonnaise Jar & 2 Cups Of Coffee
