17th Nov 2011 Giggles - Condensed Versions Of Movies

** Jaws - Directed by Steven Spielberg 1975

Roy Scheider: 'There's a big shark in the water. Close the beaches.'

Murray Hamilton: 'No way. Your evidence is inconclusive. Clean the dead people off the beach to make room for the tourists.'

(Some SCARY MUSIC rings out, and a BIG FAT GUY gets EATEN.)

Robert Shaw: 'I'm tough and grim. (shark eats him)

Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss 'Take that.' (shark dies)

THE END

 

** Erin Brockovich - Directed by Steven Soderbergh 2000

Julia Roberts: 'I'm a jerk, but I'm brilliant. Give me a job, you fountain of scummy pain evil.'

Albert Finney: 'Ok.'

Julia Roberts: 'This company is poisoning water. Let's fry their ugly hides in extract of hell. (They DO, and it is HEART WARMING.)

THE END

 

** Close Encounters of the Third Kind - Directed by Steven Spielberg 1977

(Airplanes are found in the desert.) Researchers: 'Wow!' (UFOs appear over Richard Dreyfuss' house.)

Richard Dreyfuss: 'Wow!' (UFOs appear over Devil's Tower.) All: 'Wow!'

THE END

 

** Notting Hill - Directed by Roger Michell 1999

Hugh Grant: 'I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm in love with you.'

Julia Roberts: 'I'll date you, no I won't, yes I will, no I won't. I'm sorry, I have too many rich-and-glamorous issues. Now I've gotten over them.'

THE END

 

** Reservoir Dogs - Directed by Quentin Tarantino 1992

Michael Madsen: 'Who's the rat?' (shoots a cop)

Harvey Keitel: 'I didn't do it.' (shoots Lawrence Tierney)

Tim Roth: 'Don't look at me.' (shoots Michael Madsen) (Everybody else shoots each other.)

THE END

 

** Titanic - Directed by James Cameron 1997

Leonardo DiCaprio: 'Your social class is stuffy. Let's dance with the ship's rats and have fun.'

Kate Winslet: 'You have captured my heart. Let's run around the ship and giggle.' (The ship SINKS.)

Leonardo DiCaprio: 'Never let go.

Kate Winslet: 'I promise.' (lets go)

THE END

Tags: condensedmovies

Prev: 17th Nov 2011 A Cruel Game

17th Nov 2011 The Cruel Game

We usually observe the world like a board of game. These are ours. These no. The cultural differences, the established traditions, the colour of the skin, the cloth that covers heads and bodies induce us to approach or to keep out of the way unconsciously from certain people or places.

For the last 8 months, Syria has been in deep and brutal repression. It's steadily increasing international isolation only adds to the fury of the beast already wounded. During these months the mounting figures of death before our eyes, more or less sensitised, made us more aware of our world neighbours. Yesterday the statistics manifested deaths through a young boy of 14. He was Mohamed Abdul Salam Al Mlaessa, together with other students of a school, were obliged by the security forces to abandon their classes so to join the manifestation in favour of the regimen. When the child, in the name of his other companions, communicated to the agents that they didn't wish to take part, was brutally beaten and shot to death.

 

This was seen in the digital edition of the Spanish paper, 'El Periodico'. The adolescent face, innocent but surprised and shocked, his torso naked and painfully thin, and his brown hair was being tenderly stoked and caressed by his pain stricken mother's hand, incessantly, desperately, with the awareness that no amount of gentle and tender caress would ever bring him back.

Now, in the proximity of such a scene, reading and seeing the frail inert body of a young child, the mother's unstoppable caressing and wailing, we can almost feel the physical pain and our caution of frontier disappearing. The game board is broken. We discover that at the end, we are all labourers trying to build a decent life. Some of us succeed. Mohamed might have done too, if given the chance.

Tags: boardgame, youngdeath

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