17th Nov 2011 Giggles - Condensed Versions Of Movies

** Jaws - Directed by Steven Spielberg 1975

Roy Scheider: 'There's a big shark in the water. Close the beaches.'

Murray Hamilton: 'No way. Your evidence is inconclusive. Clean the dead people off the beach to make room for the tourists.'

(Some SCARY MUSIC rings out, and a BIG FAT GUY gets EATEN.)

Robert Shaw: 'I'm tough and grim. (shark eats him)

Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss 'Take that.' (shark dies)

THE END

 

** Erin Brockovich - Directed by Steven Soderbergh 2000

Julia Roberts: 'I'm a jerk, but I'm brilliant. Give me a job, you fountain of scummy pain evil.'

Albert Finney: 'Ok.'

Julia Roberts: 'This company is poisoning water. Let's fry their ugly hides in extract of hell. (They DO, and it is HEART WARMING.)

THE END

 

** Close Encounters of the Third Kind - Directed by Steven Spielberg 1977

(Airplanes are found in the desert.) Researchers: 'Wow!' (UFOs appear over Richard Dreyfuss' house.)

Richard Dreyfuss: 'Wow!' (UFOs appear over Devil's Tower.) All: 'Wow!'

THE END

 

** Notting Hill - Directed by Roger Michell 1999

Hugh Grant: 'I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm in love with you.'

Julia Roberts: 'I'll date you, no I won't, yes I will, no I won't. I'm sorry, I have too many rich-and-glamorous issues. Now I've gotten over them.'

THE END

 

** Reservoir Dogs - Directed by Quentin Tarantino 1992

Michael Madsen: 'Who's the rat?' (shoots a cop)

Harvey Keitel: 'I didn't do it.' (shoots Lawrence Tierney)

Tim Roth: 'Don't look at me.' (shoots Michael Madsen) (Everybody else shoots each other.)

THE END

 

** Titanic - Directed by James Cameron 1997

Leonardo DiCaprio: 'Your social class is stuffy. Let's dance with the ship's rats and have fun.'

Kate Winslet: 'You have captured my heart. Let's run around the ship and giggle.' (The ship SINKS.)

Leonardo DiCaprio: 'Never let go.

Kate Winslet: 'I promise.' (lets go)

THE END

Tags: condensedmovies

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