Saturday, 22 December 2012

Silly Giggles For Today

Dec 22C
** Name a bird with a long Neck? ~ Naomi Campbell
** Name a type of fork not used for eating. ~ Guy Fawkes
** Name an occupation where you might need a torch? ~ A burglar
** Where is the Taj Mahal? ~ Opposite the Dental Hospital
** What is Hitler's first name? ~ Heil
** Some famous brothers? ~ Bonnie and Clyde
** A famous Royal? ~ Mail
** A sign of the Zodiac? ~ April
** Something you do before you go to bed? ~ Sleep
** Something you put on walls? ~ A roof
** Something slippery? ~ A conman
** A kind of ache? ~ A fillet of fish

Tag:SillyGiggles

On The Ball

Dec 22B
There's no denying it, whether we admit it or not, we are all to different degrees fashion conscious. Or outright victims of fashion. If there were no fashion, We'd still be getting around in Roman tunics or, short of that, elaborate regional costumes. Think of all those hats and bonnets, the aprons, ribbons, sashes and woollen stockings! It's all very well for carnival and the Amish.

The extent of it is, even nuns have modernised their habits and abandoned those outlandish veils. Most priests, like sailors, circulate in mufti. Neckties are on their last legs. Underwear, especially women's, has become so visible, soon requires a more appropriate name.

There was a time when Hollywood stars and singers set trends. Now fans look to the world of sport for inspiration. How many kids are just dying to slip into a sharkskin swimsuit like Michael Phelps's? Leaving to one side soccer and all those garish tattoos, tennis player's are pretty much the trend-setters these days. Rafael Nadal was literally mobbed in Beijing by fans.

Everything tennis champions wear or touch has a logo jumping out to meet the world. Talking about Nadal, it's hard not to remember Bjorn Borg with his long hair and sweaty headbands. Wasn't he the boyo who invented the look? Agassi started his career like Borg and ended it like Kojak.

Then there was Ivan Lendl, the guy who plucked the strings of his racket - there are still players around doing it. Wasn't Monica Seles the inventor of those sexually explicit exhalations - aghhh-uuhhaa every time she whacked the ball? And who was the 1st player to hold 3 balls in his hand, looked at them, reject one for no apparent reason, place another in his pocket, and serve with the 3rd? Now they all do it.

Nadal, on completing his ritual, bounced the ball an incredible number of times and, just before serving, pulls his shorts out from between his buttocks. Maybe this will catch on? Let's hope not!!
Tags:
Tags:Sport,Tennis,Fashion

A Mixture Of Art & Genitals!

Dec 22B
Helen Mirren is one of my favourite British actresses. She just classified one of her films, 'Caligula' (not sure what the word means, do you? Might be the name of a character in the film) as 'A mixture of art and genitals'!

It was filmed 29 years ago, but it's only just now the British film censor board has given it the green light on the full and unedited version. In it she played Caesonia, wife of the emperor, played by Malcom McDowell. There were other well known names in the cast, like Peter O'Toole and Sir John Gielgud. It was based on the work 'Life of the twelve Caesar-S' of Suetonio, the script was written by the prestigious historian Gore Vidal. Directed by Tinto Brass.

The producer of the film was Bob Guccione - director of the 'Penthouse' magazine, added sex scenes to the film without consulting the director, because he considered the film too 'mild'. His idea was to reproduce the orgies and the decadence that Suetonio had described in his book and, for that, he contracted models of his publication and, without saying a word to anybody, filmed and added a whole hour of sex scenes, in none of which appeared Mirren nor McDowell.

Up to recently, the DVD 'Caligula' one could buy in England was a cleaned-up version that lasted an hour less than the full version. But now the British Board of Film Classification had permitted the launching of the previously censored scenes, because of their 'historic interests'. Strange isn't it that they didn't find that interests before?

Mirren, who won an well deserved Oscar for her roll as Elizabeth the second in the film 'The Queen', says she is very happy the censorship was lifted. With a mischievous smile, she described the new version on sale in the United Kingdom as : 'An irresistible mixture of art and genitals.'

I haven't seen 'The Queen' yet, nor this arty 'New Oldy'. Can't wait to get hold of them both.


Tags:film,Art,Caligula,DVD

Why Do Women Live Longer?

Dec 22
Teresa Brown. reporter, was interested in gender roles Sunni Muslims particularly in Afghanistan. Back in the 1990s long before the current Afghan hostility she spotted that women walk about four paces behind their husbands.

When Teresa returned to Kabul in 2011 she noted with regret that women still walk behind their husbands. She pondered why, despite the establishment of women's rights, wives still pace behind their husbands.

Later the intrepid reporter fell into conversation with one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why are you so happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'
The woman looked Ms Brown straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."

She filed her report back to America with the Title:
Behind every Afghan man, there's a smart woman!

Tags:Afghanistan,Women