When I Quit - In Memory Of A Sage Lady

When I Quit ...

When I quit this mortal shore,
And mosey round this earth no more,
Don't sigh - don't cry - don't sob,
I may have struck a better job.

Don't go and buy a large bouquet,
For which you will find it hard to pay,
Don't hang around me feeling blue,
I may be better off than you.

Don't tell folks that I was a saint
Or anything else you know I ain't,
If you have stuff like that to spread,
Please hand it out before I'm dead.

If you have roses, bless your soul,
Just pin one on my buttonhole.
But do it while I'm at my best
Instead of when I'm safe at rest.

By Gwen Shedden who had since passed away.
She was grandmother of my friend Pegasus Kelly.

Tag:GwenShedden

• Current Mood: Contemplative

Humour From Small Ads. Colunm

** Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

** Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

** A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

** Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

** Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

** Now is your chance to have your ears pierced. Get an extra pair to take home.

** Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

** Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

** We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

** Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

** For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

** Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

** For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

** Great Dames for sale.

** Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

** For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

** Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

** Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

** If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

** Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

** Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Tags:Humour,SmallAds

• Current Mood: Amused

The Way I See Time Concept ...

Was it Benjamin Franklin who first said that 'Time is gold'?. In today's society, most people seem to be obsessed by the time or, rather, the lack of it. Everyone complains or comments on how little time they have, how insufficient the hours for doing what they really want or need to do. The majority get stressed out because they don't have enough time, and few stop to think or realize that they don't have enough time because they are stressed. We end up almost permanently being governed by this obsession of saving time, losing time, making time, not realising that there are 2 time zones: the time of the calendar and the time in your mind. The haste and obsession in getting most done in the least possible time is the sure way to lose or waste time; as I think anxiety generated by haste impedes us to concentrate and be efficient in what we do. We need to know our own mind clock better, to avoid falling into the trap of distorted perception of time that has little to do with the calendar or the clock. Have you ever wondered why an outward journey to any place, especially one that you haven't been before, always seems to be much longer than the return trip on the same route, that seems to take less time to do, even though they are in fact exactly the same in hours or minutes? It's because on the way out, you brain is taking in many new data to register in the memory. But when you return on the same route your mind is not so busy working. You would probably relax enough to enjoy the journey itself. The same with the young people finding the week of study or work so very long, when they constantly encounter lots of new data with each new thing they do, and need to file away in the memory; they might try to jam more than they can handle comfortably and get frustrated to find they haven't time left to what they rather do, to enjoy the work free evening, which seems so slow coming. The time concept of the old people, who have already had their memory bank filled with life's experiences, are not concentrating on finishing up some task, and the brain relates to the passing minutes, hours and days to the conclusion in their mind ... another day older and closer to where they rather not end up. The days seem so much shorter and the time just flies away. Their time concept is not so much related to hours or days, but the distance from the inevitable. The same 24 hour day is endless to some and a few blinking of the eye to others. The greatest antidote against stress is to have our right - not fear - of committing error, and It's those few who know to learn from it that make positive progress, even discoveries. Learn to accept the inevitable too, it frees your mind to concentrate on what you enjoy doing most. Anyone cares to reveal their opinions on this? Tags:time,memory,obsession

• Current Mood: awake

Cheeky Cheeky!

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body, because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful good looks!

One Day, he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said: 'My Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?

'My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.'

Tag:Cheeky

• Current Mood: Amused