Sunday, 5 February 2012
5th Feb 2012 The Men-Women Thing ...
- If not for women we won't known sin. If not for Eve, Adam will still be on point.
- There are three types of men in the world. Men that are dominated by women and know it. Men that are dominated by women & don't know it. And bachelors.
- What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? “Hold my purse”
- If you want to give a guy a compliment, just tell them that they are good at video games.
- Don’t trust a man who offers you the moon and the stars … Cause God knows his arms can’t reach that far.
- Men are like trees, they take forever to grow up.
- Menopause, menstrual cramps, mental illness, mental breakdowns … ever notice that all of your problems begin with men?
- While creating men, God promised women that a good and ideal man would be found in all corners of the world, then He made the earth round.
- A man – if he has all the good qualities of a MAN can be considered as one of THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD…
- One day a man asked a genie to make him smarter than any other man on earth. The genie turned him into a woman.
- Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
- Remember: When SHE cancels a date, it is because ... She has to. But when HE cancels a date, it is because ... He has two.
- Man can never be careful until he buys a new car and a white shirt.
- A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!
- When a woman wants a man’s opinion … She gives it to him.
- If women belong in the kitchen, shouldn’t men belong in the garage with all the other tools?
Tags: men-women
Prev: 5th Feb 2012 Men,Women, Mainly Men ...
5th Feb 2012 Men, Women, Mainly Men ...
- Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
- Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
- Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.
- To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.
- Men are alive for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
- All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
- Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles
- If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children with you …’ – they leave skid marks.
- A man in the house is worth two in the street.
- A genius is a man who can re-wrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over.
- Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.
- Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
- I only like two kinds of men, domestic and foreign.
- Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
- Man has will, but woman has her way.
- If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.
- When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
- Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do-it-yourself” types.
- Men are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time … they’re gone.
- You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
- A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.
- Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.
- To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.
- To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
- Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
- There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy … like nailing jelly to a tree for example.
- The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs …
- Some Women would rather be beautiful than smart only because men can see way better than they can think.
5th Feb 2012 Hilarious Or Dumb Q's & A's On TV & Radio
Jon Snow: In a sense, Deng Xiaoping’s death was inevitable, wasn’t it?
Expert: Er, yes. (UK. Channel 4 News)
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Cystitis
(inflammation or the bladder) is a living death, it really is. Nobody
ever talks about it, but if I was faced with a choice between having my
arms removed and getting cystitis, I’d wave goodbye to my arms quite
happily. - Louise Wener in Q Magazine
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Listener: My most embarrassing moment was when my artificial leg fell off at the altar on my wedding day.
Listener: My most embarrassing moment was when my artificial leg fell off at the altar on my wedding day.
Simon Fanshawe: How awful! Do you still have an artificial leg? – UK. Talk Radio
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Interviewer: So did you see which train crashed into which train first?
Interviewer: So did you see which train crashed into which train first?
15-year-old: No, they both ran into each other at the same time. - BBC Radio 4 News
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Presenter to palaeontologist: So what would happen if you mated the woolly mammoth with, say, an elephant?
Expert: Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a mule, we’d get a sort of half-mammoth.
Presenter: So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?
Expert: Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks.
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- Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
- Name a type of fork not used for eating. Guy Fawkes.
- Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
- Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
- What is Hitler's first name? Heil
- Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde.
- A famous Royal? Mail
- A sign of the Zodiac? April
- Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
- Something you put on walls? A roof
- Something slippery? A conman
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