The Risk Of Being Intellectual

This morning in my usual cafe, a friend and I were discussing his tentative decision of packing up his home here for the last 18 years and going back to his original home in England. His partner, also a he, died over a year ago, and he found life alone here very depressing. It's a risk, he said, but he must take it, as the alternative of living here with the partner of the past 25 years gone is too painful. During the conversation on the subject, the word "risk" popped up many times, which got me to thinking about it once I got home.

I suppose any important decision, especially the ones that are going to influence or determine your future, and life itself, must carry certain degrees of risk, as the outcome is impossible to predetermine, and no definite result could be guaranteed. The decision might lead to positive outcome, and again it might not. Taking a risk also means to commit or implicate oneself to carry out actions that are beyond one's own and exclusive interests, as much an act of risk as compromise.

As an intellectual, he must have turned over the idea a hundred times any which way in his mind, as I would have if I were in his situation. In the end, it's just a question of staying put or going back to start afresh. Both carry the same risk of working out well or not at all. That's the trouble with intellectuals, spending far too much time dwelling on ideas and alternatives which takes weeks, months, or like in my friend's case, almost a year on this one single decision or, rather, indecision.

A simpler man, less educated or less of an intellectual, would have done one thing or the other decided in hours or a few days, and the risk he had taken would have been exactly the same as my friend here is facing. My observation tells me so.

When it comes to having to make a life changing decision myself, I suspect I would also be the one that lets far too many doubts and alternatives dance around my head for days or weeks, agonizing over my own weakness and indecisiveness. Equally I am at times prone to compulsiveness, only by pure luck not always with detrimental consequences. The few times when it came close, I had at least managed to enjoyed the way getting to the disaster!

Tags:decision,impulse,compromise,risk

• Current Mood: awake

Letter To My Pets; Note To Visitors

My Dear Pets,

When I say to you "move", it means to go someplace else, not to switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in my way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. All other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that placing your paw print in the middle of MY plate and food does not stake a claim making it YOUR plate and food.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help in your guest to reach the bottom first, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think that I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.

Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space in nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge of the door and try to pull it open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Honest.

Also, I have been using the bathroom by myself for quite some time - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

I can't stress this one enough - kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog's/cat's behind.

To pacify you, my dear companions, I have posted the following notice on our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and then Complain About My Pets:-

1. The pets live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why it's called "fur"niture.)

3. To you, our pets are just animals. To me, they are an adopted son/daughter who happens to be hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

4. Dogs and cats are better than kids because:

*** they don't ask for money all the time

*** they are easier to train

*** they usually come when called

*** they don't hang out with drug-using friends

*** they don't need a trillion dollars for a college education, and ...

*** if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Tags:pets,letter,rules

• Current Mood: amused

Fred, And The Monsters

It's true isn't it, that we all carry a bit of a child deep inside our hearts throughout life, however old we are lucky enough to become. It better be true, or I would feel real idiotic about the silly sentiments I sometimes feel and the childish pleasure I enjoy so much.

I think I mentioned before that it's my reading habit of the daily paper, starting always from back to front, bypassing the important issues like international and national politics, the all essential economic information, the tragic incidents, near or far, that never cease to happen (always mainly the tragedies; happy events rarely make news on the press), and straight onto my daily dose of the 'pick-me-up' -'Fred the Basset', the comic series by Alex Graham, surely everybody is familiar with.

Fred has to be my favourite comic strip. Not only I enjoy all that mischief he gets up to, I appreciate especially the drawing. More like sketches, only the least number of mastery lines, curves and dots, but conveying a thousand and more expressions, feelings and sentiments, bringing the 3 section picture story to life, delighting all my senses always, makes me smile with understanding some days, or laugh out loud at other times.

Today a new comic strip appeared. At this moment I don't even remember the name of it or that of the cartoonist, but the 3 pictures made me laugh out loud too. It was nothing so very hilarious, that's why I wonder about my infantile pleasure of the silly theme that made me giggle so much. I didn't bother to keep the pictures at the time not intending to do anything with them, much less blogging about it. Well since I had started it already, I might as well tell you about it.

Picture 1: A group of little monsters (each has a scary face, funny shaped body in absurd proportions) are having a party. (A banner across the room says 'Monsters' Party').

Picture 2: A toddler is peeping out from behind a sofa-bed, with a friendly looking eye-mask in his hand, about to crawl out of his hiding place.

Picture 3: The toddler is out with the group of monsters, with the eye-mask on. All monsters looked scared, and one of them has his arms up trying to cover his face and screaming 'Mama, Mama ...'

That was it. And I was really tickled and laughing! Now, I haven't told you this for you to laugh at me! I just wonder why I am so infantile sometimes, yet dead serious with my principles and certain things in life, allowing myself no compromises.

Tags:fredbasset,cartoonstrip,monsters

• Current Mood: amused

My 'Ai-Ya' Lady

When I lived in Hong Kong years ago, like many working people, I always had a servant. During the period when I was working very hard, even two. I remember one in particular, who would, while going about her duties, occasionally let escape a sigh, a faint whisper: 'Ai-ya!', quite unconsciously, without any preamble and for no apparent reason. It was as if she was just taking another breath.

While she was dusting, ironing or preparing a meal, or sitting down having a little break, a tiny, barely audible 'Ai-Ya!' would come out to remind me she was around. I used to wonder whether she felt okay, whether sh!e was tired, of her work, the routine, the life making a home for others and neglecting her own ...

Then later I discovered that she sighed thus, also when she was given an unexpected little present from me, or when I asked after her family, or when I invited her to a restaurant, instead of she making me a meal, just for a change for her, she would then sign noisily 'Ai-Ya!' also. I understood then, that it's the manifestation between complaining and accepting, the desire and limitation, hopes and helplessness, the pleasure and the pain ... synthesis of sentiments and feelings, human condition wrapped in a single word.

I was reassured and even quite happy after that. So much so that I began to utter the same word sometimes unconsciously. Even now perhaps I do it more often than I realize.

I miss not living any more in my beloved Hong Kong, and miss the servant who made my life so much more comfortable, and my home in good order, clean, tidy, everything in it's right place. I also miss her, not the servant but the person, the companion, almost a family member, and the way she says 'Ai-Ya!' as if she was putting punctuations to certain things needing doing, done, or pending. Giving beginnings and conclusions all with the same word.

Perhaps it simply serves as memories for me, of that certain period of my life. The achievements and disappointments, laughters and tears, happiness and heartbreaks, and all those 'Ai-ya!' moments ...

Tags:ai-ya,servant,laughter,tears

• Current Mood: contemplative