27th July 2012 Two Heads Are Better Than One

An American tourist travelling in County Clare in Ireland came across a little antique shop in which he was lucky enough to pick up, for a mere 200 Irish punts ($350), the skull of Brian Boru**.
 
Included in the price was a certificate of the skull's authenticity, signed by Brian Boru himself. 

Fifteen years later the tourist returned to Ireland and asked the man from Clare, who owned the antique shop, if he had any more bargains. 

'I've got the very thing for you, 'said the shopkeeper, 'It's the genuine skull of Brian Boru.' 
 
'You cheat, 'exploded the American, 'You sold me that fifteen years ago, 'and producing the skull he bought, added loudly, 'Look, they're not even the same size.' 

'You have got it wrong,' opined the seller, 'This is the skull of Brian Boru when he was a lad.' 

** Brian Boru (940 to 1014) managed the rare feat of uniting Ireland. In a turning point in the war with the Vikings, Brian Boru defeated the Viking leader Ivar in single combat. Not only was Brian successful in battle, but he also had at least 4 wives and founded the O' Brien clan.

Tags: antique, heads

Prev: 27th July 2012 The Blonde & The Bait

27th July 2012 The Blonde & The Bait

The Bait ~

Martin arrived at Sunday school late. Miss Walter, his teacher, knew that Martin was usually very punctual so she asked him if anything was wrong.

Martin replied no, that he had been going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church.

Miss Walter was very impressed and asked the lad if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing?

Martin replied, "Yes he did. Dad said he didn't have enough bait for both of us."

Blondie Learning To Fish ~

This cute blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She had read several books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary equipment together, she made her way out onto the ice.

After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.

 

Frighteningly, from up above, a voice boomed, "There are no fish under the ice." Startled, Blondie moved farther down the ice, poured herself a large coffee, and began to cut yet another hole.

Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice." Blondie, now became very concerned so she moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and began again to cut her ice-hole.

The voice rang out once more, "There are no fish under the ice." Blondie stopped, looked upwards and said, "Is that you, Lord?"

The voice replied, "No, this is the Ice-Rink Manager."

 

Tags: bait, blondie

Prev: 26th July 2012 An Irish Story
Next: 27th July 2012 Two Heads Are Better Than One