21st Feb 2012 The Worry Tree - A Story

Paresh, an Indian carpenter I once hired to help me restore my old farmhouse had just finished a difficult and hard first day on the job. A flat tyre on his lorry made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw packed in, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, Paresh sat in stony, thoughtful silence. 

On arriving, Paresh, in the way of all Indian gentlefolk, invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. 

When opening the door to his home, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss. 

After a cup of tea, he walked me to my car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier. 

'Oh, that's my trouble tree,' Paresh replied. 'I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again. Funny thing is', he smiled winningly, 'when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.'

Tags: worrytree

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21st Feb 2012 Love Is Like Measles

• Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
• On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
• I don't have a solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
• Pay no attention to what the critics say; no statue has ever been erected to a critic.
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
• Is life worth living? It all depends on the liver.
• If you dig a hole for someone else, you'll fall into it.
• Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
• There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.
• Life is far too important to be taken seriously.
• When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
• The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
• I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure
• I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
• Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.Lo

 

Tags: measles, love, life

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21st Feb 2012 Irish Mail / Male Order

Mail / Male Order?

Two Irish men, Kearney and O'Riordan were looking at a Mail order catalogue and admiring the models. Kearney remarks to O'Riordan, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?' 

O'Riordan replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price.' 

Kearney says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.' 

O'Riordan, smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea. Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalogue, I will get one too.' 

Three weeks later, Kearney, the youngest of the two asks his friend, O'Rordan, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from that catalogue?' 

O'Riordan replies with a glint in his eye, 'No, but it shouldn't be long now. She sent all her clothes yesterday.' 

Tags: mailorder

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21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

A Shaggy Dog Tale from the Atlanta Daily

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.

I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cosy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old golden Labrador retriever dog. 

Men are so naive ...!

Tags: man, ad, dog

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