16th Aug 2011 '7%' By A Very Wise 90 Year Old Lady - Regina Brett

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more" ~

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift." 

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'.

 

I'm in the 7%. Friends are the family that we choose.

Tags: lifelessons

Prev: 16th Aug 2011 Funny But Real Job Applications

16th Aug 2011 Funny But Real Job Applications

* Unintentional misused of words with funny effects from real job application forms:

1. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."

2. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."

3. "As indicted, I have over five years of analysing investments."

4. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chainstore."

5. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

6. "Marital status: often. Children: various."

7. "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions."

8. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

9. "Finished eighth in my class of ten."

10. "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."

* The New Recruit ~

A few weeks after a young man had been employed; he was called into the Human Resources administrator's office.

"What is the meaning of this?" the personnel officer asked. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had three years experience. Now I have discovered this is the first position you've ever held."

"True," the young man answered with a smile, "in your advertisement you said you wanted a person with imagination."

Tags: applicationforms

Prev: 16th Aug 2011 An Answer For Everything 3

16th Aug 2011 An Answer For Everything 3

* What country makes you shiver?
Chile.

* What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I'm coming down with something!

* What did one magnet say to the other?
I find you very attractive.

* What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.

* What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.

* What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
It's time to go to sweep.

* What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got you covered.

* What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.

* What do you call a calf after it's six months old?
Seven months old.

* What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?
Dead.

* What do giraffes have that no other animals have?

Little giraffes.

* Have you ever seen anyone opening a tin by just staring at it?

Yes. It was an eye-opener.

* Who always goes to bed with shoes on?

A horse.

Tags: questions, answers

Prev: 16th Aug 2011 The Price Of 2 Weeks Happiness

16th Aug 2011 The Price Of 2 Weeks Happiness

There's one thing worse than getting old - being conscious of it. Those who can afford it try to take a cruise to celebrate they have at last earned the luxury, and those who have always had luxury do so to console themselves, being too old to do much else requiring physical energy, by taking a cruise instead, where they wouldn't appear as the oldest. Most of the passengers in very expensive cruisers are old, who embark on the collective tragedy looking affable and determined to be happy.

 

Now not only have they left the land behind, but have also freed themselves of being asked to look after the grandchildren. No more need to worry about boring and exhausting day to day living, able to concentrate on just 2 basic needs of the body: fill the stomach with good food and exercise their legs and feet dancing the slow waltz, or gamble away their life's saving in the casino.

 

Especially for the ladies, the highlight of the cruise is, if they are lucky, selected to sit at the Captain's table, and being able to dress up like a Christmas tree every night just to show off at the dining room. A friend of mine just sent off their parents, to a celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary in a cruiser, as a gift, around the Mediterranean going nowhere in particular. I have never seen a more loving and happier couple in my life.

 

The wife of my friend said to me it's a waste of money, as the sum spent for 2 weeks would make much better sense to renew their home with brand new furniture and furnishing, as their's were older than my friend who is 44. I asked her whether she will be happier, when at the age of the old couple, both 81, to have new furniture or a vacation in a luxury cruise for a fortnight? She thought it over for a full minute, smiled, threw her arms up in the air, and said "Who's that idiot who suggests new furniture?"

 

Tags: cruise, furniture, anniversary

Prev: 15th Aug 2011 Wordless Communication