Hi Honey ...?

'Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mammy near the phone?'
'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'

**After a brief pause** Daddy says:

'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mammy, right now.'

**Brief Pause**

'Oh, okay then, this is what I want you to do: Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mammy:
That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'
'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'

**A few minutes later**
The little girl comes back to the phone.

'I did it, Daddy.'

'And what happened, honey?'
'Well, Mammy got all scared, jumped out of bed With no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser, And now she isn't moving at all!'

'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'
'He too jumped out of the bed with no clothes on,all scared and he jumped out of the back window into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'

***Long Pause***
******Longer Pause******
*******Even Longer Pause*******

Then Daddy says:

'Swimming pool? ... Is this 486-5731?'
'No, I think you have the wrong number...'

Tags: swimming, unclepaul

Prev: The Mischievous Pope

The Mischievous Pope

Not too long ago, in 2011, Pope Benedict the XV1 was supposed to have caused quite a stir in Germany, during his emotional trip to his homeland Germany. The papal flight touched down at Berlin's Brandenburg Airport. After lugging all of Pope Benedict's bags into the limo, Herman the driver, notices that the Pope is still standing on the pavement.

'Pardon me, Your Holiness,' says Herman, 'Would you please take your seat so we can get to the Olympic Stadium in time?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive for old times sake now I am back in Germany.'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job!'

'But who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver get into the rear seat as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision because after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to over 200 kms.

'Please slow down, Your Holiness' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear police sirens.

Duly the Pope pulls over and winds-down the window. The Autobahnpolizei approaches the pope-mobile, takes one look inside, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to Chief Rhode,' he says to the dispatcher.

Chief Otto Rhode gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo doing 200 kph.

'So bust him,' says the Chief. 'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, Mayor Klaus Wowereit?'

Autobahnpolizei: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'A member of parliament?'

Autobahnpolizei: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'The Chancellor of Germany?'

Autobahnpolizei:: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'

Autobahnpolizei: 'I think it's God!'

The Chief is even more puzzled, and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'

Autobahnpolizei: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'


Tags:Pope,Driver,Police