20th July 2011 Giggles, Smiles And Smirks

Q. How do you join the army?

A. Handcuff them together.

Q. Why do you go over a hill.

A. Because you can't go under it.

Q. Why can't a skeleton jump off a cliff?
A. He hasn't got any guts.

Q. What collects money but never spends it?

A. A money-box.

Q. Why aren't monkeys well paid?

A. Because they only get peanuts.

Q. Why is it a good idea to have holes in your trousers?

A. To put your feet through.

Q. What sleeps at the bottom of the sea?

A. A kipper.

Q. What did the cat burglar say when he was caught?

A. Meow.

Q. Who invented the sword dance?

A. Someone who wanted to enjoy himself and cut his toe-nails at the same time.

Q. What did the man say when St. Peter sent him down to Hell?

A. I'm damned if I'm going there!

Q. Who eats Queen of puddings?

A. A communist cannibal.

Q. What kind of hat can play a tune?

A. A hat with a band on it.

Q. What did Big Chief Running Water call his two sons?

A. Hot and Cold.

Q. And what did he call his 3rd son?

A. Little Drip.

Q. What men shave 20 times a day?

A. Barbers.

Q. Why is a policeman the strongest man in the world?

A. Because he can stop a 10 ton truck with one hand.

Q. What is the best way to make trousers last?

A. Make the coat first.

Q. How can you make a pearl out of a pear?

A. Add L.

 

Tags: smirks, smiles

Prev: 20th July 2011 New Function Of The Good Old Post Box

20th July 2011 New Function Of The Good Old Post Box

A friend of mine lost his wallet just the other day. Not much cash inside, hi said, but things more important like his ID card which in Spain is very essential to have with you all the time, to prove your existence (!), and the driving license which he must have for his daily journeys to work. Luckily he had good enough sense not to put all his credit cards in there as well. Such replacements take time and much paper work to replace. He had of course immediately started the troublesome procedure of application, but before the related forms come through, just 4 days after, he received in his own letter box a thick envelope containing his lost wallet, and a brief and amiable letter from the Post Office, informing him his wallet was found inside one of the Letter Boxes. Great service.

It would seem that amongst thieves there are some more 'responsible' ones who have certain principles. Apparently similar incidents have been repeated fairly often according to the Post Office, that once the cash has been extracted, personal documents and the wallet itself, unless it's of pure crocodile skin or gold trimmed, are usually dropped into the letter boxes. This shows that some thieves have great faith in the Post Office doing the right thing to lessen their guilt for them, returning the essential papers to the rightful owners.

In this day and age, very few people use the Post Office any more, email is of course much easier, faster and cheaper. But the Post Offices have resisted the decline and still plod along doing their job faithfully. There are still some people who use them, not too often but regularly, mostly packets and parcels for instance.

I have, maybe not too logically, got quite used to the sight of the kind of letter boxes, mostly in the shape of a low painted column, dotted here and there in street corners and pavements. They have been part of a urban scene I have known well all my life, and quite interesting during travels to see the different varieties, sizes, colours and shapes in different countries, with their different languages and styles in the indication of collection days and hours. Some even look quite artistic. And they have resisted the changing of times, graffiti, vandalism and, I suppose, maintaining them in good order and functional costs sizeable public funds.

 

Those traditional grooves or slots that are on the front of each Post Office with the orientation signs on each like: 'Barcelona', 'Rest of Spain', 'International' are not sufficient now for easier sorting; they need to add one more marked 'Stolen wallets & purses'. The 'law abiding' thieves would thus feel more civil and their selfless action of returning documents publicly appreciated.

Tags: civilthieves, letterbox

Prev: 19th July 2011 Giggles - Q's And A's