Q. How do you join the army?
A. Handcuff them together.
Q. Why do you go over a hill.
A. Because you can't go under it.
Q. Why can't a skeleton jump off a cliff?
A. He hasn't got any guts.
A. He hasn't got any guts.
Q. What collects money but never spends it?
A. A money-box.
Q. Why aren't monkeys well paid?
A. Because they only get peanuts.
Q. Why is it a good idea to have holes in your trousers?
A. To put your feet through.
Q. What sleeps at the bottom of the sea?
A. A kipper.
Q. What did the cat burglar say when he was caught?
A. Meow.
Q. Who invented the sword dance?
A. Someone who wanted to enjoy himself and cut his toe-nails at the same time.
Q. What did the man say when St. Peter sent him down to Hell?
A. I'm damned if I'm going there!
Q. Who eats Queen of puddings?
A. A communist cannibal.
Q. What kind of hat can play a tune?
A. A hat with a band on it.
Q. What did Big Chief Running Water call his two sons?
A. Hot and Cold.
Q. And what did he call his 3rd son?
A. Little Drip.
Q. What men shave 20 times a day?
A. Barbers.
Q. Why is a policeman the strongest man in the world?
A. Because he can stop a 10 ton truck with one hand.
Q. What is the best way to make trousers last?
A. Make the coat first.
Q. How can you make a pearl out of a pear?
A. Add L.
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