17th Jan 2012 Who Is The Daddy?

Child Support Agency Queries ~

The following are all replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing "father's details;" or putting it another way. ... Who's the Daddy?

 

These are genuine excerpts from the forms. In general opinion, Number 10. takes 1st prize and Number 3 is runner up. 

 

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley. I am unsure. as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

 

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 360 East Bolton Avenue where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculat and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover, and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

 

7.Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC/CDs? Child B who was also born at the same time ... well, I don't have a clue.

8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro-Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

9. So much about that night is a blur The only thing that I remember for sure is Gordon Ramsey did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 56 Miller St , mine might have remained unfertilized.

10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

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Prev: 17th Jan 2011 Wonderfuf Health Advice I Like to Pass On ...

17th Jan 2012 Wonderful Health Advice I Like To Pass On ...

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't give a rat's ass. It's the tortoise life for me!

1) If walking / cycling is good for the health, the postman would be immortal.

2) A whale swims all day, eats only fish, drinks only water, is fat.

3) A rabbit runs and hops and lives only 15 years.

4) A tortoise never runs and does nothing, yet it lives 450 years.

And you tell me to exercise??

I don't think so!

I am retired. Go around me!

( By Mick )

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Prev: 17th Jan 2012 Happy 70th Birthday Muhammad Ali

17th Jan 2012 Happy 70th Birthday Muhammad Ali

I am not a fan of Boxing; I consider it hardly qualified as sport, wasting strength and time beating each other up. But I admire Muhammad Ali, not for his glorious wins and unbeatable strength nor his enormous fame, but for his self confidence, persistence, consistent & arduous effort to reach a goal he made for himself, never hesitant until achieving it. For all that he has my greatest respect. The following are some of his wise and humorous quotes: ~

• A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.
• A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing.
• Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you are.
• At home I am a nice guy: but I don't want the world to know. Humble people, I've found, don't get very far.
• Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up.
• Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
• Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.
• Friendship ... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
• Hating people because of their color is wrong. And it doesn't matter which color does the hating. It's just plain wrong.
• He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.
• I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.
• I figure I'll be champ for about ten years and then I'll let my brother take over - like the Kennedys down in Washington.
• I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.
• I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."
• I know I got it made while the masses of black people are catchin' hell, but as long as they ain't free, I ain't free.
• I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want.
• I never thought of losing, but now that it' S happened, the only thing is to do it right. That's my obligation to all the people who believe in me. We all have to take defeats in life.
• I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world.
• I'll beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.
• I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
• I'm the most recognized and loved man that ever lived cuz there weren't no satellites when Jesus and Moses were around, so people far away in the villages didn't know about them.
• If they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.
• If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize.
• It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe.
• It will be a killer, and a chiller, and a thriller, when I get the gorilla in Manila.
• It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
• It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.
• It's not bragging if you can back it up.
  It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.
• Life is a gamble. You can get hurt, but people die in plane crashes, lose their arms and legs in car accidents; people die every day. Same with fighters: some die, some get hurt, some go on. You just don't let yourself believe it will happen to you.
• My toughest fight was with my first wife.
• My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.
• No one knows what to say in the loser's locker room.
• Old age is just a record of one's whole life.
• Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
• Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams - they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do - they all contain truths.
• Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.
• Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer.
• The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.
• The man who has no imagination has no wings.
• There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.
  There are no pleasures in a fight but some of my fights have been a pleasure to win.
• To be able to give away riches is mandatory if you wish to possess them. This is the only way that you will be truly rich.
• Wars of nations are fought to change maps. But wars of poverty are fought to map change.
• What keeps me going is goals.
• When you can whip any man in the world, you never know peace.

Tags: muhammadali

Prev: 16th Jan 2012 The 'Morning After' Pill