MoiMoii's Random Thoughts And Ramblings: 01/24/12

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

24th Jan 2012 Lexifiles Or Lexiphiles

LEXIFILES, LEXIPHILES Or WORDPLAYS ~

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A flat miner.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Tags: lexifiles, wordplay

Prev: 24th Jan 2012 The Funny Old Pub Names & Signs

24th Jan 2012 Funny Old Pub Names & Signs

I am very fond of British pubs, especially those very old ones with strange or amusing names. Many of the these old tavern names are in danger of disappearing as large conglomerations buy up pubs and change their names to "modern" equivalents. Throughout Britain "Harvester" pubs, "Slug and Lettuce" and "Beefeater" pubs can be found, owned by these big groups.

It's a great pity the loss of the heritage connected with the old names. Many are in connection with history or legend, or even just old wives' tales, others are reflection of the pub owners' humour. A good thing many of these inns can still be found when around Britain and Ireland.

Just look at them. Aren't you smiling? Don't you think they are worth preserving?

The Idle Cook - Idle, Bradford, Yorkshire
Bucket of Blood - Phillack, Cornwall
*The Fawcett Inn - Portsmouth, Hampshire
*The Ram Inn - Newark, Nottinghamshire
Moderation Inn - Reading, Berkshire
The Pub with No Name - Priors Dean, Hampshire [known by locals as The White Horse Inn]
The Vat and Fiddle - Nottingham
The Happy Medium - Chichester, West Sussex
The Hung Drawn And Quartered, London
Hole in the Wall - Southsea, Hampshire; Caernarvon, north Wales; Little Wilbraham, Cambridgeshire; Waterloo, London; Lowside, Bowness Windermere, Cumbria (ole Int Wall); and several other venues.
Bank Tavern, Keswick, Cumbria
The Bleeding Wolf, Hale, Altrincham, Cheshire
Blooming Fuchsia, Ipswich, Suffolk
The Cow and Snuffers, Llandaff, Cardiff, Wales
Drunken Duck, Hawkshead, Cumbria
Mad Dog, Odell, Bedfordshire
The Quiet Woman - York [The sign being a woman carrying her own severed head]
Nobody Inn - Doddiscombsleigh, Devon
One that almost got away: The Cemetery in Rochdale, Lancashire.
The Tap Shop, Mid Calder, West Lothian, Scotland.
Who'da Thought it, just outside Plymouth, in Devon.
The Stumble In, in Bellglade, Florida.
The Drunk Skunk, in Tennessee.