Chickens Can't Fly

Don't spend major time with minor people. If there are people in your life that continually disappoint you, break promises, stomp on your dreams, too judgemental, have different values and don't give their backing during difficult times ... that is not a friend.

To have a friend, be a friend. Sometimes in life as you grow, your friends will either grow or go. Surround yourself with people who reflect values, goals interests and lifestyle.

Over the years my phone book has changed because I have changed. For the better. At first you think you're going to be alone, but after a while new people show up in your life that make your life so much sweeter and easier to endure. Remember what your elders used to say, "Birds of a feather flock together. If you're an eagle, don't hang around chickens:

Chickens Can't Fly!

The above was what I had posted in 2009. I am not so sure about whether I still hold that belief. I have changed a little since and I am a little more patient and tolerant. I get on quite well now with people who are totally different from me and I often even enjoyed the differences. That's not to say I like people who habitually break their promises, indifferent to others' needs or sufferings, I don't like such people, but I have learned to accept the fact that they are what or how they are because of a lot of reasons and causes, no point for me to even bother myself with it; keeping a comfortable distance is quite enough. Who knows, they might change too. I prefer now to concentrate more on cultivating friendship that's real and worthy, instead of separating people into groups and categories.

In fact, I have witnessed chickens that do fly!

Tags:chickens,friends

Current Mood: Accomplished

A Message To Employees ...

Dear employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slow down of the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as "Retire Aged People Early" (Rape).

Persons selected to be "RAPED" can apply to management to be eligible for the "Special Help After Forced Termination" (Shaft) scheme.

Persons who have been "RAPED" and "SHAFTED" will be reviewed under the "Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers" (SCREW) programme.

A person may be "RAPED" once, "SHAFTED" twice and "SCREWED" as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been "RAPED" can only get "Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse" (AIDS) or "Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance" (HERPES).

Obviously persons who have "AIDS" or "HERPES" will not be "SHAFTED" or "SCREWED" any further by Management.

Persons who are not "RAPED" and are staying on will receive as much "Special High Intensity Training" (SHIT) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of "SHIT" it gives employees.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough "SHIT", please bring it to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the "SHIT" you can get.

The Management.

Well not to worry there is always something else around the corner. I only hope my next employer is as caring as this one.

Tags:management,retirement

Current Mood: Blah

Sex Drive, The Blonde, The Boss & The Genie

** Sex drive

Morris is 85 years old and goes for a medical. After the examination, his doctor says to him, "You're in remarkable shape for a man of your age."
"I know it," said Morris, "but I've got a problem. My sex drive is too high. Have you got anything you can give me for it?"
The doctor's mouth dropped open. "Your what?" he gasped.
"My sex drive," repeated Morris, "is too high and I'd like you to lower it."
"Lower it?" exclaimed the doctor, still unable to believe what his 85 year old patient was saying. "Just what do you consider high?"

"These days it seems like it's all in my head, doctor," replies Morris, "and I'd like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can."

** Blonde Logic

Blondie walked into a print lab to have a photo of her deceased husband David copied and retouched.
She said to the technician, "I have always hated the hat that my husband David is wearing in the photo. Could you please retouch the hat out?"
"Of course," said the technician, "what colour hair did your husband have?"

"When you take the hat off, you'll see," she said.

** Let the boss go first

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss, are on their way to a meeting. On their journey through a park, they come across an oil lamp sticking out of the ground under a bush. They pick it up, rub it, and out pops a genie.

The genie says, "Thank you very much. I normally grant three wishes but as there are three of you, I can only allow one wish each."

Without waiting for the others, the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat with loads of money and have no worries for the rest of my life."
POW and he was gone.

The junior manager couldn’t keep quiet and shouted, "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls all around me, and plenty of good food and champagne."
POW and he was gone too.

The boss then calmly said, "Here’s my wish. I want those two idiots back in my office immediately after lunch."

Tags:sexdrive,boss,genie

Current Mood: Amused

The Milkman Who Delievers Much More Than Milk

During a casual conversation with some friends, somehow 'the milkman' is often used to hint a variety of dubious meanings other than his profession. Innuendo like: 'Wonder why that white couple got a black baby ... The milkman??' I remember a case in England years ago. Robert Holding, 72 year old milkman, was involved in a resounding court case.

Oh yes, there are still milkmen in England, and their service much appreciated in many villages and even in some cities, where supermarkets are not to be found or too far away, or some residents are old, without transport, disabled, dependent. Or simply somebody like me who prefers to pay just a little more but have some basic necessities delivered to the door. One and a half million Britain continue to receive delivery of milk, eggs and bread at their doorsteps.

Unlike the typical milkman, Robert Holding delivered not just milk, eggs, bread and yogurts, but also marijuana to order. This was discovered and he was arrested. When his house and his milk van were searched, the police found a total of 167 grams of cannabis hidden in egg boxes. In the street they were then worth about €500, trifle and insignificant for drug dealers in London, Barcelona or New York, but more than sufficient to meet the desires and necessities of the seniors of Burnley.

Holding had 6 children and 28 grandchildren, 57 years married to his wife who suffered Alzheimer. He confessed immediately but declared that he had not done it to make profit, hence the small quantity he kept and never beyond the very small area, with the tiniest margin of profit to make it affordable by those folks. He just wanted to help the old , people, 19 of them on his 'special' list, between the age of 70 to 92. Some of them in wheelchairs, and all suffered deliberating arthritis or back pains. Most had been told by hospitals that they could help no more. All of them declared very grateful to the milkman in interviews and in court.

The judge admitted that this was indeed an exceptional case, and imposed only 36 weeks of jail, which he was allowed to complete with provisional liberty. Thousands of people from all over Britain sent him letters of support, believing his purpose to be altruistic.

 

I am just concerned what are those old folks to do now without his help?

Tags:milkman,marihuana

Current Mood: Anxious