31st Mar 2012 The Balloonist & The Engineer

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am ...'

The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'

 

'You must be an Engineer,' said the balloonist.
'I am,' replied the man, 'how did you know?'

'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip by your talk.'

 

The man below responded, 'You must be in Management.'

'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'

'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!'

Tags: bolloonist, engineer

Prev: 31st Mar 2012 Are You Up To It? - by courtesy of Jack
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

31st Mar 2012 Are You Up To It?

I'm sure you will enjoy this. I never knew one word in the English language that can be a noun, verb, adj, adv, prep. UP
Read until the end ... you'll laugh.

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is’ UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election (if there is a tie, it is a toss UP) and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.

At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UPalmost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with (UP to) a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP!

Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?
U         P!
Did that one crack you UP?

Don't screw UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book . . . or not . . . it's UP to you.
Now I'll shut UP!

Tags: up

Prev: 31st Mar 2012 School Mates
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

31st Mar 2012 School Mates

YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL ...

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO. 

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. 

THIS BALDING, GREY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE! AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL.  

'YES, YES I DID. I'M A MORGANER,' HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE. 

 

'WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?' I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

 

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY ...

THEN THE UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLED, FAT ARSED, GREY HAIRED, DECREPIT BASTARD ASKED ...

"WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"

Tags: schoolmates

Prev: 30th Mar 2012 The Bird CageNext: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

30th Mar 2012 The Bird Cage

Unless Prince Charming pops up unannounced tonight, I will be watching a film I have seen several times over the years: the original in France during one of my travels, on stage in London, on TV in Germany & England, also in Spain some while ago and it's back again tonight.

 

This one was directed by Mike Nichols and starred Robin Williams and Gene Hackman. It's the American version of a famous French comedy, centred on a mature gay couple, whose peaceful and harmonious existence was completely altered with the announcement of marriage by the son of one of them. Doesn't sound funny summing it up like that, but I can assure you it's hilariously funny, a master piece in the comedy category, a real gem of entertainment.

Most strange & inexplicable is the translation of the title in Spanish ' Jaula de Grillos' (jaula - cage, grillos - crickets). Why the insect cricket? Don't the Spanish have birds? It baffles me always why they are so fond of giving names to films that are as remotely connected to the original titles as possible, nearly always. If the change explain better the story, more poetic, more attractive or enticing, more suggestive ... but no, just different and often very puzzling. Call it what they will, it's a great comedy. 

 

Tags: birdcage

Prev: 30th Mar 2012 A Mind Game, Sort Of A Scrabble
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

30th Mar 2012 A Mind Game, Sort Of A Scrabble

If you are good at Scrabble, this should present little problem for you. I never have enough patience with that game, but I do admit the following is rather clever.

See how you fare. There are some words below, try simply to rearrange the letters in each word and see what you come up with ... The last one I thought is the cleverest: -

Presbyterian ... If you rearrange the same letters:

Best in prayer

Astronomer ...

Moon starer

Desperation ...

A rope ends it

The eyes ..

They see

George Bush ...

He bugs Gore

The Morse code ...

Here comes dots

Dormitory ...

Dirty room

Slot Machines ...

Cash lost in me

Animosity ...

Is no amity

Election results ...

Lies - Lets recount

Snooze alarms ...

Alas, no more z's

A decimal point ...

I'm a dot in place

Earthquakes ...

That queer shake

Eleven plus two ...

Twelve plus one

And, for the grand finale ~
Mother-in- law ...

Woman Hitler

Tags: wordgame

Prev: 29th Mar 2012 Fishing Expressions Explained
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

29th Mar 2012 Fishing Expressions Explained

Personally, I only love fish when I see them happily swimming, or enticingly cooked and presented on my meal table. The sight of fish with a hook or wire in his mouth struggling to get free while gasping for breath pains me terribly, but ... as we human must bear some misfortune in our life, so do fish having to submit to their unfortunate fate.

Here are some fishing expressions I recently learned:

1) Catch and Release: This is a conservation term that happens right before the local Fish and Game Protection Officer stops your boat when you have caught over the limit.

2) Hook: (I) A small curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (ii) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (iii) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings.

3) Line: Something you give your colleagues when they ask on Monday how your fishing went over the weekend.

4) Lure: An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

5) Reel: A weighty object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

6) Rod: An attractively painted length of fibreglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

7) School: A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your £15.99 ($USD30) lures and hold out for bread instead.

8) Tackle: What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

9) Tackle Box: A box shaped amazingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get an elastoplasts (band aid), you soon find that you need more than one.

10) Test: (I) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (ii) A measure of your creativity in blaming 'that flippin' line' for once again losing the fish.

 

Tags: fishingexpressions

Prev: 29th Mar 2012 The Robotnaut In Space & The Scary Mineshaft
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

I have always been fascinated by trees, especially those very old, twisted and snarled ones. In fact I collect them, well, not the trees though I wish I could, but images of them.

29th Mar 2012 The Wonder Of Trees

I have always been fascinated by trees, especially those very old, twisted and snarled ones. In fact I collect them, well, not the trees though I wish I could, but images of them.

Tags: oldtrees

Prev: 29th Mar 2012 The Robotnaut In Space & The Scary Mineshaft - by MoiMoii

29th Mar 2012 The Robotnaut In Space & The Scary Mineshaft

Orbited at 360 kilometres from the earth is the 1st humanoid robot that has travelled to space. When he got to the International Space Station, the 1st thing he did was to shake hands with Daniel Burbank, the commandant in this complex event. It's also the 1st ever image of a human and a robot shaking hands in Space.

To enable Robernaut 2 to articulate his hand, the controllers on earth activated an information programme that permitted him to move his wrist, so as to extend his right hand & correctly articulate his fingers.

 

The humanoid weighs 150 kilos, and relies on 350 Sensors of all kinds for his movements and tasks assigned to him. He is to stay, to live,so to speak, permanently in the space station. During the initial years, he will carry out simple tasks of maintenance to later perform more risky missions, like exploration of areas that might be dangerous for his human colleagues.

If the mineshaft is big, the fright of the driver of this ill fated car is very much bigger. In fact he was real lucky to live to tell the story. He was just driving peacefully on a motorway and, like sudden lightning, the ground directly blow his car opened up!!

 

The image below were taken in the outskirts of the location, Manchang, in China. The car was practically like hanging by a thread, leaving the driver and all witnesses stunned and speechless, not to say the furiously beating hearts.

 

Tags: mineshaft, robotnaut

Prev: 28th Mar 2012 Noir - A Black & While Novel
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

28th Mar 2012 Noir - A Black & White Novel

I discovered a new book 'Noir' by Robert Coover, translated to Spanish, that fascinates me. No, I didn't mean the translation does as I haven't read the original to compare if it had been translated straightly keeping the author's ideas precisely and respectfully. I mean the story and the way it's told. It's really several stories put together.

The part that tells the story of an oriental prostitute who had her entire body tattooed, covering every centimetre of skin, used by 2 Mafias to send coded messages to each other, an epistolary relationship that documents 2 things: the competitiveness of the 2 men who continuously demonstrate, mutually, each one's power and, the other, absolutely everything could become literature.

 

It's one of the many collateral stories with the text that follows strictly the clichés of the kind with a new layer of paint - copy, imitate, duplicate if you like - in black & white. The protagonist is a detective called Philip M. Noir, his secretary Blanche - which is to say, a black & while novel. Coover had learned the lesson of transforming it in the labyrinth, a tangled web of languages. The digression , deviation from the main point, is more interesting than the principal story, practically non-existent.

To our hero, who acts as if he had escaped from the hard boiled experiment of Mickey Spillane or from the Sin City of Frank Miller, couldn't care less about the object of his mission, didn't even know the name of his client, a black widow. Each story opens a new hole in a heavily coded universe. Each character extends a hand in Noir to meddle in another space, another time.

 

In a certain way, this magnificent Noir is the culmination of formal investigations which Coover, pioneer of hypertext , announced in an article, so visionary like 'The end of books'. One of his worries in that brief article was: what would happen to the novel when it loses it's centre of gravity, what would happen when the lack of closure pushing the readers against the cords.

It's a literary project difficult to conclude but Coover, who has de-constructed myths, legends and fairy tales in exemplary books like 'Poker magic', or 'Zarzarrosa' knew to transcend the condition of the post-modern artefact to transform it, with Noir, in a novel that talks to the reader, one to one. a very different and perturbing high jump without a net.

Tags: noir, novel

Prev: 28th Mar 2012 Amazing Reasons For Car Accidents
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

28th Mar 2012 Amazing Reason For Car Accidents

If we are unlucky enough to be involved in a car accident, of course it is never our fault. The following quotes show what people write on their insurance claim forms. Apparently, rather strange some might seem, all are true written claims on Motor Insurance Quotes from Claim Forms:

1. "I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.".

2. I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been run over before.

3. I collided with a stationary tramcar coming the other way.

4. I consider that neither vehicle was to blame but if either were to blame it was the other one (Irish).

5. I left my Austin Seven outside and when I came out later to my amazement there was an Austin Twelve.

6. Car had to turn sharper than was necessary owing to an invisible lorry.

7. To avoid a collision I ran into the other car.

8. "The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.".

9. The other car collided with mine without giving any warning of its intention.

10. The other man altered his mind so I had to run into him.

11. I told the other idiot what he was and went on.

12. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

13. I unfortunately ran over a pedestrian and the old gentleman was taken to hospital, much regretting the circumstances.

14. I thought the side window was down but it was up, as I found when I put my head through it.

15. If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened.

16. She suddenly saw me, lost her head and we met.

17. Cow wandered into my car. I was afterwards informed that the cow was half-witted.

18. Three women were talking to each other and when two stepped back and one stepped forward I had to have an accident.

19. There were plenty of lookers-on but no witnesses.

20. A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him because he gored my car.

 

Tags: caraccidents

Prev: 27th Mar 2012 Funny Observations From Watching Movies
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

27th Mar 2012 Funny Observations From Watching Movies

Not sure whether I have told you about these observations before, but just in case I haven't ...

Next time you go to the movies, keep your eye out for extra information that you can pick up about every day events. The following observations have a strange but true ring to them; the unexpected knowledge gained from watching movies.

1) During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

2) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

3) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

4) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

5) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

6) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

7) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

8) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

 

If you are the observant type, you might spot more interesting details I have overlooked. Do pleas add to this if you wish.

 

Tags: observations, movies

Prev: 27th Mar 2012 Beauty & The Beast - A Tragedy
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

27th Mar 2012 Beauty & The Beast - A Tragedy

Once upon a time, there was a young beauty in Pakistan, called Fakhra Younus, who married, against her wishes, to a man in Karachi, Bilal Khar, son of a politician, who had already 3 wives. Her married life is a series of merciless torture in the hands of her husband. One day she had had enough and went back to her parents' home, but her husband went there and without a single word, threw bottles of liquid acid all over her face. Her husband was acquitted of the horrendous crime, due to his connection with the high rank politicians. She is only in the news today, not because of the crime inflicted on her, but her suicide last week; her body was being sent back to her parents in Pakistan.

That was 12 years ago. Once again, she had had enough, even of life itself. Last week, she threw herself from her home on the 6th floor, in Italy, leaving a note that summed it all up: 'For the silence of the law, the atrocity and insensibility of government'.

 

The before and after photos of Younus, and with her in the after photo is the Pakistan activist and writer Tehmina Durrani, who had helped the young woman move to Italy, where she underwent 39 operations with intent to re-compose her badly damaged face as well as her body, large part of it was burnt to the bone; all to no avail.

Today one Spanish TV channel premieres a new series from the United States 'American Horror Story'. It promised in the publicity to be abominably horrific and scary. Fictions. No way could it be more horrific and scary than the indescribable pain and injustice Younus had suffered.

 

Tags: suicide, beauty, beast

Prev: 26th Mar Groucho Marx's Humour
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

26th Mar 2012 Grouch Marx's Humour

Ahout Grouch Marx ~

Groucho grew up in a Jewish neighbourhood which had Irish-Germans on one side and Italians on the other. Hence 'The Marx Brothers' developed 'ethnic' accents, based on this background, as part of their comedy.

He walked with an extremely distinctive "chicken-walk" lope and sported an exaggerated moustache, a cigar and very bushy eyebrows. Groucho perfected the "wise-crack", quick repartee, which was sometimes amusingly insulting. In his later life he was frustrated by the fact that when he insulted someone they thought it was humour and part of his act when in reality he meant the slight.

Woody Allen thought him, "..the best comedian this country ever produced." Many people would agree. He died in 1977 at the age of 86.

 

• I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member.
• 
  
• Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others.
• 
  
• Women should be obscene and not heard.
• 
  
• I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.
• 
  
• I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
• 
  
• Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
• 
  
• He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
• 
  
• Room service? Send up a larger room.
• 
  
• I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
• 
  
• Now there's a man with an open mind—you can feel the breeze from here.
• 
  
• I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions—the curtain was up.
• 
  
• The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his chequebook open.
• 
  
• Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.
• 
  
• Look, if you don't like my parties, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, leave in a minute and a huff. If you can't find that, you can leave in a taxi.
• 
  
• Last night I shot an elephant in my pyjamas and how he got in my pyjamas I'll never know.
• 
  
• How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
• 
  
• Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
• From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
• 
  
• I could dance with you till the cows come home, on second thought I'll dance with the cows till you come home.
• 
  
• Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
• 
  
• Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. (Groucho should know, he was married three times)
• 
  
• Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
• 
  
• "Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough."

Tags: grouchmarx

Prev: 26th The Godfather - 40 Years On ...
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

26th Mar 2012 The Godfather - 40 Years On ...

The industry of culture and fashion registered the fastest acceleration of movements constantly in the 20th century, in it's consumers as well as in the production estimates, in the adaptation to the new technology as in it's chameleon-like accommodation of the ever changing new trends and new tastes. This makes what caused fury in the old days now we look at with compassion, because they got old disgracefully, using the jargon of critics.

But, in art, as in life, there are always exceptions. One of them is the film The God Father, the unforgettable trilogy of the legendary director/movie-maker Francis Ford Coppola, based on the novel of Mario Puzo. The film was first premiered on the 24th March, 1972, 40 years ago. This trilogy is indisputably one of the few films that have aged gracefully, demonstrating great resistance to the pass of time, judging by the countless unconditional fans who observe the annual ritual attending to the re-showing of the series, about the life, 'work', notorious deeds and assassinations by gangsters, the Corleones.

These devoted fans enjoy each year the nearly 9 hour long story are not the same as the movie Geeks disguised as Batman, or Darh Vader, to to go to the premiers of super heroes with magical powers or Vampire superproductions, but devotees of cinematographic art, convinced, and found, that each time they see the same films, they discovered new tints and shades, subtle nuance overlooked in the past; and new openings for reflection. They are fans that appreciate and understand the profundity of the film art, and defend that condition against other popular but ephemeral and fleeting blockbuster films.

The stone solid characters are played by equally solid actors, every one of them. A tremendous amount of things have changed in 40 years, the actors are old or dead, the screens have widen from wall to wall, the influence of video and games, and we have attended orgies of mind boggling special effects and 3D images ...

Nevertheless, in the classifications of the best films in the movie history, The Godfather remains untouchable, firmly keeping it's position on the very top, next only to Citizen Kane in 2011. Perhaps due to the extraordinary insight of the story but believable, the amazing actors that portrayed their rolls of such complex characters, hard, tough and cruel on the outside, love & hate within, with faithfulness, loyalty, politics, tradition and their special brand of family values to juggle and balance ...

True and pure Cinema.

 

Tags: thegodfather

Prev: 26th Mar 2012 Ice Finger Of Death
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

26th Mar 2012 Ice Finger Of Death

It sounds like a science fiction film of the B series. But it's a name referring to the the curious natural phenomenon. The brinicle or estalactita, the under water icicle was first discovered in 1960 but the first filming of it was not until last year. 

 

As brine from the sea ice sinks, a 'brinicle' forms, threatening life on the sea floor with a frosty fate. A bizarre underwater "icicle of death" has been filmed by a BBC crew, With time-lapse cameras. Specialists recorded salt water being excluded from the sea ice and sinking. As the water is heavily laden of salt, it sinks right down towards the bottom of the ocean, The temperature of this sinking brine, which was well below 0C, caused the water to freeze in an icy sheath around it. Any sea vegetation, sea creatures, anything at all freezes up in contact with it. 

Where the so-called "brinicle" met the sea bed, a web of ice formed that freezes everything it touched, including sea urchins and starfish. The unusual phenomenon was filmed for the first time by cameramen Hugh Miller and Doug Anderson for the BBC One series Frozen Planet. You can see it in YouTube called the 'Brinicle Finger Of Death'.

We are every now & then being reminded that in life, as well as in nature, there are some visually very beautiful things that could also be very dangerous even deadly.

Tags: icefinger

Prev: 25th Mar 2012 Lovely Enough To Eat
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

25th Mar 2012 Lovely Enough To Eat

Just like one would often describe a beautiful or desirable woman as 'delicious', the Spanish often say XX is so very pretty ( attractive, alluring, gorgeous ... etc) that 'I could just eat her up'. This is even said directly to the woman herself 'I will ... (I wish, I want, I like to ...). Or wishfully 'How I wish I could just eat you up!' This type of expression is used a lot, and most women wouldn't feel offended, after all, it's definitely a compliment.

The Spanish also have a long national tradition of what's known as a 'Piropo', a compliment or flattery to a woman in the street or at any public places, telling her how beautiful and charming she is, with sincerity, admiration & respect not to be compared with the leering, crude remarks thrown at women by ignorant, uncouth brutes, usually regarding the woman's anatomy and what they would like to do with it.

With 'Piropo', neither the woman nor her husband or male companion would consider it out of place or offensive. The gentleman offering it would always take off his hat first (if he wears one), never invitation nor indecent proposal. For foreigners like myself, it was strange at first to be so flattered and usually feel at a loss not sure whether to get angry or not. As a general guide, a little smile is all that's needed as acknowledgement, sending the gentleman happily on his way.

A pastry chef in Spain, Lluis Muixi, has concocted a cake made in the image of Marilyn Monroe, of life size 1,70 high and weighing 70 kilos, which he will donate to the protection shelter for infants. MM surely never in her life weighed 70 kilos!! No Matter, it's a cake, the more the better.

While undoubtedly the children would have preferred the cake to be in the image of the Hulk or Spiderman or Harry Potter, I can just imagine a male group sharing the cake with someone asking the perennial & traditional turkey question: 'Leg or breast?' 

 

 

Tags: piropo, eatingmarilyn

Prev: 25th Mar 2012 Funny Thoughts About Women
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

25th Mar 2012 Funny Thoughts About Women

1. What is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing.
2. Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
3. A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.
4. Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions.
5. Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
6. If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
7. One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
8. Most men like whisky old and women young.
9. Most women are not always as young as they are painted.
10. What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.

Tags: women, thoughts

Prev: 24th Mar 2012 Language Study - Based On Genes?
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

24th Mar 2012 What Price A Woman's Brain

In East Windsor Hospital in Connecticut, USA, the relatives gathered in the waiting room as their family member lay gravely ill. 

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre. 'I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried faces, 'The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.'

The family members sat silently as they absorbed the news. After a few minutes, one asked, 'Well, how much does a brain cost?' 

The doctor responded quickly, '$50,000 for a male brain, and $2,000 for a female brain.'

The moment turned awkward. The men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. One man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, 'Why is the male brain so much more than the female brain?' 

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and then replied to the entire group, 'It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been used.'

Tags: woman, man, brain

Prev: 24th Mar 2012 Differences Between Men & Women
Next: 24th Mar 2012 Language Study - Based On Genes?

24th Mar 2012 Language Study - Based On Genes?

The Spanish Education Ministry had been pushing the study of English gradually over the past years, and now it had become obligatory subject in schools as a foreign language instead of French as it had done all along until recently. Yet just now, as result of an investigation on bio-science, it was disclosed that a great part of the Spanish population is genetically programmed not able to ever speak English properly. (Not ever??)

But many can read better (that I can well understand), as Barcelona is pronounced Barcelona, and Gaudi, Gaudi. As to why London is Londres in Spanish quite baffles me as the most unnecessary change when the end part 'don' presents absolutely no difficulty to pronounce for the Spanish, but presents difficulty internationally, with people having to remember which is which, as many country or place names are erased altogether substituted by words entirely different. But that's another subject.

Scientifically speaking, I can't figure out about the gene-based inability to speak English, although, I did noticed right from the start when I first settled in Spain some years back, that most well educated Spanish, university graduates, business people even in international trade, can't speak English well at all; those who can and correctly in grammatical construction of sentences, and speaking fluently, simply can't manage to pronounce words properly. But I never knew that it had to do with preconditioned genes that are the culprits. Their accent is nearly always wrong.

I can easily distinguish by the way people of different countries speaking English whether they are say, German, French, Singapore, HK, Shanghai, India ... and some other countries. I am curious if this concerns just English, or any other foreign languages other than their own, that the genes are playing tricks on. The investigation only told the result, not the Why & How.

Wonder whether there is any antidote or remedy that could prevent the correct learning of a language? Don't they experiment a lot re. changing, altering and replacing genes already?

 

Tags: languagelearning, genes

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24th Mar 2012 Differences Between Men & Women

The difference between men and women is not only physiological; there are many other gender differences and some of them are amusing. I say, 'Long live the differences'

1) Nicknames:
If Claire, Louise and Hannah go out for lunch, they will call each other Claire, Louise and Hannah.

If Russell, John and Trevor go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Jackson, Parrot-face and TC (Top Cat – from the 1970’s television cartoon series)

2) Eating out:

When the bill arrives, Russell, John and Trevor will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3) Bathrooms:

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Tesco.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

4) Arguments:

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

5) Cats:

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

6) Success:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

7) Marriage:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

8) Dressing Up:

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

9) Offspring:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dental appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

10) Memory:

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports because they've already forgotten what happened. That's why too it's not important that a married man forgets his mistakes, the woman would always remind him however long ago the mistake was made.

Tags: differences, women, men

Prev: 23rd Mar 2012 Killing Joke & Ultimate Eagle In Music Hall
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Music Hall In Barcelona ~

The term 'Music Hall', or Variety shows, almost always conjures up the image of the old days with artists in a variety of entertainment fields, solo or in small groups, each performing what they were specialized at, mostly with Victorian costumes and backgrounds. Even the audience were dressed likewise, with ladies in long gowns and bit hats, and the Gents in tailcoats and fancy neck scarves. Very often they were encouraged to join in especially in popular songs with funny lyrics.

Times have changed, but somehow Music Halls managed to remain, even flourishing in some countries. In England I can understand better, it's a very old and loved tradition there, but I didn't know before the Spaniards too are very fond of it, including some young people. Understandably, the type of programmes have changed and moved forward with time, but the ambience and 'feel' persist in certain aspects; some popular old time variety entertainment died off, now newer and trendier but still in the form of variety, meaning several totally different type of entertainment all in the same evening.

Ultimate Eagles ~

Staged as part of the Festival of Guitars of Barcelona is a concert by 'Ultimate Eagles', the best tribute of the world of mythical band from the United States. The band is formed by ingenious instrumentalists Danny Vaughn, Michael Lawrence, Christian Phillips, Chris Childs, Ryan Aston & Chris Wright. These brilliant musicians recreate with precision & respect some songs from popular rock groups in the music history, authors of universal hymns, like Hotel California, One of These Nights, Life in the Fast Lane, or Hole in the World.

Killing Joke ~

There are 2 different programmes forthcoming in the Music Hall of Barcelona. 'Killing Joke' is one, Post Punk group from London, considered band of international reference in the music industry, offering one and only performance on the 17th April. Intriguing name. Not at all sure how to interpret Killing Joke. Maybe that's the purpose, up to the public how they wish to interpret it.

 

Tags: musichall

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