The Taxi Driver ~
The passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the pavement, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
For a second both of them went quiet, then the driver said: 'Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylight out of me!' The passenger apologised and said: 'I didn't realized that a light tap would scare you so much.'
The driver replied: 'Sorry. It's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I have been driving a funeral van for the past 25 years.'
The Blonde ~
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were robbing in a supermarket. A police officer walked in and saw what was happening. He dashed towards them, but they were able to run away into the back of the store. There they found 3 sacks to hide in. When the police officer checked there, he examined each sack.
He kicks the first one, and the redhead says 'meow' in a high voice. The cop determines that it must be only a cat, and he moved on to the next. He kicked the 2nd sack, and the brunette says 'woof' in a low voice. The officer determined that it must only be a dog in that sack, so he moved on to the last one.
He kicked the 3rd bag, and the blonde shouts 'potato'.
The Granny ~
At a local coffee bar, a woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to her lady friends: man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical, tell jokes, sing and stay home with me every night.'
An old granny overheard and spoke up: 'Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV.'
Tags: the granny
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