Some friends thought me strange when they discovered I have a habit of reading obituaries. It's morbid, they say, and senseless. If the dead person was famous, they argue, you know all about them already; if they were not (those who occupied space in the newspapers were usually known figures if not exactly famous) why bother with the dead person you didn't even know?
I read them, famous or not, because I had always thought that an obituary usually tells about the deceased's life like a condensed biography depicting the key points of his life, character and personality of the person, achievements too, however small. I am just interested in people and their lives, each unique and different, even the person was not a hero, a star, or somebody very important. Everyone must have been important to someone sometime in his/her life time.
However, recently, I noticed that obituaries are, borrowing a cliche, not as they used to be. The dead person seems to have been put into 2nd place, with the writer saying 'I' 'me' more than 'he' or 'she': 'I knew him in ...', 'I introduced (promoted, discovered, helped ...) him'. When being generous, then 'we', sharing friends, events, good or bad times and, especially, achievements.
In the present day culture of the all important 'I', even dying couldn't have avoided yielding to the living the 1st position. Couldn't even died alone in peace, but with the writer seemingly getting in the grave right by his side. At the end of an obituary, one learns more about the writer than the person whom he's supposed to honour.
Tags: obituaries
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