* American Army Soldier Yarn ~
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
* Apparently a true story ~
Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio concerning guns and children. This is a portion of an American National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female interviewer and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation:
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach the Boy Scouts climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
* Footnote - Confession time ~
The saga of General Reinwald is an urban myth. Internet archaeologists have traced this funny army back to a Welsh broadcast with a scout master in 1997. As with all good stories, in the intervening years it has been adapted and Americanised.
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