Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They are difficult to get started, and then they don't work half the time.
There's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbour's.
Why do you water your lawn with whisky?
So that it comes up half-cut.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower. I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
What do you call someone who used to like tractors? An extractor fan.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er.
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Why mow the lawn in the first place? I think we should never weed the lawn as I love the plant diversity; yellow buttercups in April, clover in June and July, and the little wild daisies are just beautiful. Besides all that delightful beauty, why would you prefer to labour over it instead of sit back, with a lemonade or Gin-Tonic in hand, and enjoy it?
Tags: lawn-mowers
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