Alzheimer's advantage:
- New friends every day. Always meeting new people.
- You never watch repeats on television.
- You don't have to remember the complaints of your spouse.
- You can hide your own Easter eggs.
- Mysteries are always interesting.
Old age advantages:
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
- In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
- No one expects you to run into a burning building.
- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
- The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
- People are polite to you. When they call at 9 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Things you buy now won't wear out.
- You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
- You can live without sex but not without glasses.
- You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
- You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
- You have a party and the neighbours don't even realise it.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
- You sing along with elevator music.
- Your eyes won't get much worse.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
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