** What does a farmer drink?
Cocktails.
** Why is a fishmonger such a mean man?
Because his business makes him sell-fish.
** How do you start a bear race?
Ready, Teddy, Go!
** How do you start a flea race?
One, Two, Flea, Go!
** What bill never needs paying?
A duck's bill.
** What is it that is too much for one, enough for two, and nothing at all for three?
A secret.
** How did the frog die?
He croaked it.
** Who has no control over her pupils?
A cross-eyed teacher.
** What is the best way to make a fire with 2 sticks?
Make sure one of them is a match.
** When is a pie like a poet?
When it's Browning.
** Why do cows wear cowbells?
Because their horns don't work.
** Why must birds in a nest always agree?
To keep from falling out.
** What is a lawyer's favourite pudding?
Sue-it.
** What is the least dangerous kind of robbery?
Safe robbery.
** What is red and white, has 22 legs and 2 wings?
Manchester United.
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