** English Tourists in Cardigan, Wales ~
George, an English visitor to the small Welsh town of Aberaeron, Cardiganshire, was approached by one of the deacons of the local chapel who asked him whether he would like to attend their chapel on the following Sunday.
'Wouldn't that be a little pointless?' replied George politely, 'After all, your services are held in Welsh and I don't understand the language.'
'Ah yes, boyo,' answered the deacon, 'but the collection is in English.'
** The Barber ~
Paul enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
'I have just the thing,' says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. 'Just place this between your cheek and gum.'
Paul places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. 'And what if I swallow it?'
'No problem,' says the barber. 'Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone
else does.'
** The Piano Punch ~
- Have you heard about the musician who leaves a message for his wife: Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.
- What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor. - What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
The Great Piano Escape ~
Little Ben came into the house with a new harmonica.'Grandpa, do you mind if I play this in here?'
'Of course not, Ben. I love music. In fact, when your Grandma and I were young, music saved my life.'
'What happened?'
'Well, it was during the famous Johnstown flood. The dam broke, and when the water hit our house, it knocked it right off the foundation. Grandma got on the dining room table and floated out safely.'
'How about you?'
'Me? I accompanied her on the piano!'
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