If I had posted this one before, I am not apologizing; I need to be reminded never to get married in haste.
** You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Henny Youngman (For those who do not know him, Henny - [not Henry] Youngman was an American stand up comedian.)
** The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. - Ann Bancroft
** Any husband who says. "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. - Bill Cosby
** I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery. - Rita Rudner
** Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. - Benjamin Franklin
** My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. - Henny Youngman
** My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield
** A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle
** I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - George Burns
** I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There's water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake." - Henny Youngman
** Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller (my recipe is: Make love instead)
** The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henny Youngman
Tags: marriage
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