** Two Farmers ~
Two farmers are talking to each other over a 5-bar gate when one turns to the others and asks, 'Do your cows smoke?
No, answered the first one, surprised.
Well then your cowshed must be burning!
** Canadian Taxidermist ~
A guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a white wine. All the rednecks sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north.
The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada."
The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada?"
The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What on earth is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?"
"No", says the Canadian "A taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."
The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us."
** Heard It Through The Grapevine ~
*
Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged
from a bottle of Tippex. I woke this morning with a huge correction.
* I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen,
'what would you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?'
I said, 'I'll have chicken please'
She replied, 'You're having soup, I was talking to the cat!'
'what would you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?'
I said, 'I'll have chicken please'
She replied, 'You're having soup, I was talking to the cat!'
* Got myself a new Jack Russell puppy; he's mainly black and brown with a small white patch, so I named him Birmingham.
Tags: grapevine
Prev: 19th Nov 2011 Giggling News
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