24th Nov 2011 Observations - Funny, Witty, Might Even Be True

1. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order. 
2. If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison.
   It went a lot faster with two people digging. 
3. I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. 
4. In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back. 
5. To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. 
6. His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. 
7. Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died.
8. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. 
9. He that cannot reason is a fool. He that will not is a bigot. He that dare not is a slave. 
10. This guy is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

Tags: observations

Prev: 24th Nov 2011 Kings & Commoners