27th Dec 2011 Golfing ...

* What is golf? ~

Somebody said If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

* Mr. Angry Golfing ~

A very angry golfer was on his way to carding a round of 150. He turned to his caddy and said," You must be the worst caddy in the world."

"That would be too much of a coincidence, sir," answered the caddy in a quiet voice.

* Golf - Below Par? ~

After a particularly bad round of golf, Robert decided not to go to the nineteenth hole (the clubhouse bar) and started to go straight home.

As he was walking to the car park to get his Range Rover, a policeman stopped him and asked,

"Did you tee off on the seventeenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"

"Yes,” Robert answered

"Did you happen to slice your ball so that it went over the trees and out of bounds and completely off the course?"

"Yes, I did. How did you know?" Robert questioned.

"Well," said the policeman gravely, "Your ball flew out onto the main road and crashed through the windscreen of a BMW. The car driver lost control and crashed into six other cars and a fire engine. The fire engine was unable to reach the fire in time and the building burned down. Now, what do you intend to do about it?"

Robert thought it over very carefully and responded, "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."

* Golf Swindler ~

While sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Padraig remarked to a fellow club member', I'm not going to play golf with Jim Lawler any more. He cheats.'

'Why do you say that?' asked his friend.
'Well, he found his lost ball two feet from the green', replied Padraig indignantly.
'That's entirely possible', commented his friend.
'Not when I had his golf ball in my pocket', retorted Padraig with finality.

* Golf Partner ~

Alex comes home after his regular Saturday golf game and his wife, Amanda asks why he doesn't include John Gumby in the games any more. Alex asks, 'Would you want to play with a guy who regularly cheats, swears outrageously over everything, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone else on the course?'
'Of course I wouldn't,' states Amanda.
'Well,' mutters Alex, 'neither would John Gumby.'

Tags: golfing

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