- Fools rush in where fools have been before.
- It's called "take home" pay because you can't afford to go anywhere else with it.
- Success is relative; the greater the success, the more relatives.
- If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
- You must have learned from others' mistakes. You haven't had time to think all those up yourself.
- People like criticism; just keep it positive and flattering.
- It's OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
- Worry kills more people than work because more people worry than work.
- Middle age is when broadness of the mind, and narrowness of the waist, change places.
- When you're getting kicked from behind, at least it means you're in front.
- Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
- Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
- Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
- Some people are like blisters. They don't show up until the work is done.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
- Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
- The one who snores will fall asleep first.
- The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.
Tags: wisecracks
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