A Friend's Advice ~

"My wife died yesterday .... I am trying to cry but tears are not coming out! This will look real bad in the funeral. What do I do?"

"No problem. Just imagine she came back."

 

The Man That Can't die ~

Jackson saw an old friend walking along the sea front at Southsea. 'Hello Harry,' he said, 'How are you?' It was only then that Jackson realised that Harry only had one leg ! 

'What happened to you?' he inquired. 'My wife left me so I jumped in front of a train but it only took my leg off.' 

Jackson then noticed that Harry only had one hand and in its place was a hook. 'What happened to your hand?' he asked.

'I tried it again, 'he replied,' and the train just took my hand off.' 

Jackson, again noticed that Harry also had a glass eye. 'What's up with your eye?' he asked, this time with considerable trepidation. 

'Well,' said the Harry, 'after two attempts to take my life I thought God doesn't want me to die, so I looked to the sky and said 'thank you, God', and a passing seagull made a deposit right in my eye ! ! ! 

'But you can't loose an eye through bird muck.' insisted Jackson.

Harry looked down at the floor and said, 'I'd only had the hook for three days!'

Tags: blackhumour

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