Just some short stories to cheer you on ...
1) Wrong Train
A
man decided to visit his sister who was living in France. He assumed
that most French would speak English, but found many spoke only their
own language and this included the ticket inspector on the train, who
punched his ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making several
expansive gestures. The man simply nodded from time to time to show him
that he was interested.
When he ticket inspector had gone, an American tourist on the train, leaned forward and asked the man if he spoke French.
"No," the man admitted.
"Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train."
2) Pinot Wines
There are many "pinot" wines on the market these days: Pinot Noir, Pinot Blanc and Pinot Grigio are but a few.
There
is also marketing research on a product for senior citizens from a new
hybrid grape that acts as a diuretic and will reduce the number of
trips an older person has to make to the bathroom during the night.
They will be marketing the new wine as .... Pinot More!
3) Right Neighbourly
Archie,
a successful business man becomes fed up with all the stress of big
city life and decides to chuck it all. He takes his savings and buys a
large ranch in the middle of the outback, just north of Barossa Valley
in South Australia.
After a couple of
months of enjoying the quietness and solitude he hears the drumming of
hoofs outside his home. Seizing his rifle he challenges the man riding
up on the horse, "G’day neighbour, hold it right there.”
The
rider says, "I'm your neighbour, I have a ranch only 20 miles from
here, and I want to invite you to a Welcome Party I'm throwing for you
next Saturday. There's going to be music, dancing, hugging, kissing,
drinking, fighting ... we'll have a great time."
Not wanting to be unfriendly the new rancher lowers the rifle and asks, "How should I dress?"
"Blimey, mate, it don't matter," replied the neighbour, "There’s only gonna be the two of us."
4) The Cadge
Every
time, Peter, the man next door headed toward Paul's house, Paul knew
he was coming to borrow something, he was always doing so and it was
driving him nuts.
"Peter won't get away with it this time," muttered Paul to his wife, "Watch this."
"Er, I wonder if you'd be using your hedge trimmer this morning?" asked Paul the neighbour.
"Crikey, I'm terribly sorry," said Paul with a smug look, "but the fact of the matter is, I'll be using it all day."
"In that case," smiled Peter, "you won't be using your golf clubs, mind if I borrow them?"
Tags: shortstories, monday
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