** Raffle Winner ~
'Tell me, Ronan, how did you manage to get so very drunk last night?' asked the parish priest.
'Well you see, Father, it was like this. I got into very bad company after winning a bottle of whiskey at a raffle.'
'But you were with Mick McGahey, Ryan O'Toole, and Patrick McCann and they don't drink.'
'Dat's what I mean, Father...'
** Driving Test ~
You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left hand side there is a valley and on your right hand side there is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.
In front of you there is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you there is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are travelling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the merry-go-round - you're drunk!
** Drinking Lesson ~
Will was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whisky curled up and died.
'All right, son', asked Will, 'what does that show you?'
'Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.'
'Tell me, Ronan, how did you manage to get so very drunk last night?' asked the parish priest.
'Well you see, Father, it was like this. I got into very bad company after winning a bottle of whiskey at a raffle.'
'But you were with Mick McGahey, Ryan O'Toole, and Patrick McCann and they don't drink.'
'Dat's what I mean, Father...'
** Driving Test ~
You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left hand side there is a valley and on your right hand side there is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.
In front of you there is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you there is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are travelling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the merry-go-round - you're drunk!
** Drinking Lesson ~
Will was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whisky curled up and died.
'All right, son', asked Will, 'what does that show you?'
'Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.'
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