Adult
A person who has stopped growing at both ends
and is now growing in the middle.
Beauty Parlour
A place where women curl up and dye.
Chickens
The only animals you eat
before they are born and after they are dead.
Committee
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Dust
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
Egotist
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
Handkerchief
Cold Storage.
Mosquito
An insect that makes you like flies better.
Inflation
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
Raisin
A grape with a sunburn.
Secret
Something you tell to one person at a time.
Skeleton
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
Toothache
The pain that drives you to extraction.
Tomorrow
One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.
Yawn
An honest opinion openly expressed.
And my personal favourite!
Wrinkles
Something other people have,
similar to my character lines.
And,
if you still remember the following old rules as well, you have your
life perfectly in order already. Just enjoy it to the full.
- Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
- Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard's name.
- Help someone when they are in trouble and will remember you when they are in trouble again.
- Many people are alive only because it's illegal to short them.
- Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again neither does milk.
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.
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