
For
far too long I had been looking for happiness without finding it,
because I had the wrong conception of what it should be. That it meant
no sickness, no pain, emotional or physical, no disappointments. That I
wanted to love & especially be loved, unconditionally. That I would
never lose people I cared very much about.
Then
I experienced over & over that life was not as I had painted it
nor hoped for, never for anyone, particularly those who just sit
expecting all those wonderful things to happen. Nor as some hopefuls who
believe that life is what you make it by simply strive to follow your
goal. Your effort & devotion to make things perfect may not always
achieve desired results, however hard you try.
Now,
more matured in years, & having been taught a few lessons by life,
I think we can all be reasonably happy, if we are realistic about our
expectations, accepting pain as part of life, and face disappointments
as a challenge to do better. life is never without pain
& disappointments. The opposite attitude would simply cause
prolonged or permanent depression or, worse still, soul destroying
desperation.
One
particular damaging factor to unhappiness is most likely fear. People
are afraid of all sorts of things; getting old, sick, poor, losing love
or loved ones, job, security, the unknown future ... That's when
religion or myth come in, with which one substitutes pain &
disappointment with love & hope. But hope has to be realistic, & love needs continuous attention, eternal effort,
dedication, cultivation & nurture. Or it would starve
& die.
There
are admirable people who are by nature happy, always with music in
their hearts. Happy for just being alive, under whatever condition or
circumstances. They are the truly blessed ones.
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