30th July 2012 There's No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

On the first day after breaking up with the husband, Margo packed all her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, Margo sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each an every room and deposited few half-eaten anchovies dipped in caviar down the curtain rods.

 

When Margo's husband Ralph returned with his new girlfriend Tracey, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting ... Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, Ralph and Tracey could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

Then Margo called Ralph, and asked how things were going and he told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, Ralph agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

 

A week later Ralph and Tracey stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home - including the curtain rods!

Footnote:

I have heard variations of the above story several times. While it does seem to be based on a true story, with suitable embellishments, this woman's joke would seem to be entering the realms of an urban myth.

Tags: womanscorned

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