** Charity begins at home?
A large, well built man visited the vicarage and asked to see the vicar's wife, who was well known for her charity.
As
he spoke to her he said in a voice breaking with emotion, 'I'd like to
draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this
district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the
nine children are starving. They are about to be turned out into the
cold streets unless someone pays their £400 rent arrears.'
'How frightful!' exclaimed the vicar's wife. 'May I ask who you are?'
The enormous visitor wiped his eyes with his handkerchief and wailed, 'I'm their landlord.'
** A seat in the Stand
Bernie
and Eddie were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch
Manchester United. They could not help noticing that there was always a
spare seat next (K37) to them and they had a friend who would love to
buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have seats together.
One
half-time Bernie went to the ticket office and asked if they could by
buy the season ticket for K37. The official said that unfortunately the
ticket had been sold. Nevertheless, week after week the seat was still
empty.
Then
on Boxing day, much to Bernie and Eddie's amazement the seat was taken
for the first time that season. Eddie could not resist asking the
newcomer, 'Where have you been all season?'
Don't ask he said, the wife bought the season ticket back last summer, and kept it for a surprise Christmas present.
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