The Irish attempt on Mount Everest was a valiant effort, but it failed: They ran out of scaffolding.
** Big Rock ~
An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweller. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.
An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweller. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.
The young lass, on learning it wasn't real, returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.
"It was in honour of St. Patrick's Day," he smiled. "I gave you a sham rock."
** How to Gain Admittance to the Olympics ~
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal.
While
wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon
construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of
scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, "Johnson, the
pole vault," and was admitted.
The
Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he
came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and
said, "McTavish, the hammer." He was also admitted.
The
Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up
when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he
presented himself at the gate and announced, "O'Sullivan, fencing."
** Judgement ~
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of twenty Euros costs.
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of twenty Euros costs.
"Now don't let me ever see your face again," said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go.
"I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir," said the released man.
"And why not?".
"Because I'm the barman at your regular pub."
** The Irish Doctor ~
The Doctor was puzzled "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, O'Flaherty. I think it must be the drink."
"Don't worry about it Dr Cullen, I'll come back when you're sober." said O'Flaherty.
Tags: blessedirish
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